When people hear “will” they often believe it is synonymous with “willpower” and this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

What is willpower?

Willpower represents a state of distrust, or rejection — it is the tantrum a child throws after they cause their own problem. Willpower is the attempt to “resolve” a problem you have created via prior choices.

You are tempted to use willpower when you encounter a situation in life that is displeasing, uncomfortable or outright painful. You think willpower is a quick fix that will put you back on course if you can just “power through.” Or perhaps you use willpower because you have convinced yourself you “have to” otherwise your life will implode.

There is never a case when you should be using “willpower” to solve your problems. Willpower is like adding fuel to a fire. This is like drinking more to overcome a hangover.

You are resisting a state that has come to pass because of your own choices and willpower sounds like an enticing way to dig yourself out of a hole.

It will never change until you do. It will keep repeating. Forever. Because you create your own “state of the universe.”

Whenever you think that willpower is a good idea — stop. Your life should be an effortless flow of will — DECISION — one to the next without interruption. A hiccup or a block represents a conflict within yourself, like rocks in a stream and should be an immediate indication to set aside time to do some inner-work.

There is something within that keeps bending the currents of your life against itself and causing disharmony, i.e., suffering, or “evil.”

By using willpower, you are attempting to create an impossible state because you are rejecting your own will. This becomes expressed through the Nonsense, or through ‘chaos’ which must be represented somehow within your life.

I am not rejecting my own will. I am solving a problem right now!, you say!

How can I violate my own will?

Let us present the concept of ‘enlightenment’ which for the sake of this article can be considered a spectrum. The higher along this spectrum you are, the faster your WILL becomes reality.

At the lower end of the enlightenment scale, experience (qualia) requires higher degrees of verisimilitude. That means it requires more linearity or “believability.” It is more deterministic, because the less enlightened mind needs more stories to explain everything that happens. It needs these stories because it has to explain where it is has lost its authority and to make sense of the world “happening to itself.” This leaves less room for the unexpected, the unrelated, or breaks in time/space and so on. It is more physical, more victim-oriented and less dreamlike.

The higher you go along the enlightenment scale, the less need for explanation you need because you are able to hold opposing concepts or beliefs. You are able to remain ‘detached’ from the world that seems to be happening around you. You have less need for stories, logic or rationales for why the world works. Imagine a dream that skips around or things come into being or blink out. If you’ve ever had a lucid dream, you have had a taste of what enlightenment would be like.

At lower ends, the Nonsense is always expressed via unexpected negative events, because this is the story you need to tell yourself to explain how you are ‘rejecting your own will.’ You will attempt to find ‘reasons’ for these events because you are still operating at a lower level of enlightenment — but this is a trap. The more you go looking for stories, the more power you are giving to a world outside of yourself. You disempower yourself when you are unable to surrender/accept your circumstances (which YOU created!) and grow beyond them.

The former has abandoned the inner-child (lower end) while the ladder has embodied it (higher end). This is the mindset of the adult (one who is imprisoned) vs the child (one is free.)

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Matthew 18:5

Whenever you exercise willpower, you are saying: “No, this isn’t my will, this is some external force violating me.” It doesn’t matter what this external force is — the physical world, other people, bad mood, upset stomach, angels, devils — the list is endless. All of these represent a loss of authority.

So what is WILL, then?

Will is the quiet observer behind your senses. You deciding to read each word, one after the other — all independent exercises of the will. The will is eternal and never turns off. It is a light by which choices are made upon wherever it shines.

Attention is POWER.

Will is the ‘one who decides.’ To better know your will, you simply need to broaden what you consider a decision. Many people think that their thoughts or emotions are not part of their decision making process — their will — but they absolutely are. It takes daily, ongoing practice to put yourself in a mental landscape where you can alter these things rather than be altered by them.

But thoughts & emotions are still “surface level.” The work I do is about training us to see the subtle decisions we are making ALL THE TIME. So subtle that they often will try to evade your conscious recognition as if intelligent.

What are we doing that causes us to feel or think X? How do we change ourselves so that we no longer feel a certain way, or how do we feel MORE of another way?

What about how we perceive the world itself? Can we get at the roots of certain beliefs that cause reflexive actions — can we redefine how we interact with the world to such a degree that the whole world seems like a different place?

Yes!

Some schools might consider these subtleties DEMONS, ARCHONS, NEGATIVE ETs, or other such concepts. And you can read other esoteric material with that in mind to see lots of relevant advice. But I feel no need to cede this much authority. How do we begin to correct ourselves if we do not take responsibility? We cannot even see the path.

These are all aspects of Nonsense — glitches, bad patterns of thought without consciousness. Perhaps other beings who express the corruption and need help. Nonsense has NO POWER except the power YOU/WE give it.

What, then, is the proper use of will, if not willpower?

Reality is suggestive.

I will post more about this in the future, but using will is a bit like investing. You are planting seeds that will play dividends down the road. But this is much more profound than it sounds!

When you begin to understand “unity” you will understand that every moment you are aligning — or creating — the whole universe that you directly experience. This includes how your body feels, what thoughts come into your mind, the ease at which certain emotions arrive or depart, and the events of your life itself!

It is like you are navigating to different versions of yourself who can feel like a completely different person. You may even see major shifts in your life circumstances that seemed impossible. And indeed … this is a glimpse of a higher spectrum of consciousness that does not require continuity.

Yet … YOU … persist.

You persist seemingly independent of the constantly changing “self” that arises from the contextual world, because that self is also part and parcel of the whole world you have created.

Everyday make the best, most authentic willful choices you can make, but not just in the physical realm but within your mind. Always surrender to & accept the reality of your life whilst knowing that right now you are already planting seeds for what is to come. More and more, inch to the center of the storm.

Choose how to feel, especially if you aren’t feeling it. Choose what thoughts you would like so they serve you better, especially when it seems like your thoughts are not in your best interests.

Fake it, knowing these are investments that will come back to you and make it easier and easier.

The Reverend Mother Helen — the Bene Gesserit — in this clip is a surrogate for our own thoughts when she “commands with the voice” and convinces Paul his hand his burning. Paul, in this scene, beautifully demonstrates — especially via the Litany of Fear — how we can disregard the suggestions and come out unscathed.

P.S. our bodies are also suggestive just like thoughts.

Adopting a paradigm that free will is absolute is not all sunshine & daises. In fact, there are some disturbing truths that I have uncovered.

As with all work of this nature, integrating this truth requires recognizing the importance of other people and their total autonomy within your overall paradigm. This is implicit in the idea of “absolute free will” (meaning everyone gets it), but becomes sticky when you start to play with the nature of the other itself or its role in your world.

You may be offended or impatient or upset that others can seemingly conflict with your will, or go against your wishes. It is easy to become indignant when you have “seen through the cracks” and feel like you should be able to cultivate your world to your liking. You may be tempted to remove or restrict the autonomy from others as a “short cut” to higher organizations of consciousness.

But this is a trap.

Like yourself, the role of the other is to be a conduit for God — for potential — to choose (create) what hasn’t been chosen before and this allows for the “infinite recombination” of the cosmos. This allows for fresh never-experienced-before content. Without this critical element, the universe would become deterministic, or entropic.

Denying others, much like denying any part of your world, is denying potential. This pushes you into entropic timelines, aka “dead ends.”

If you opt to change the role of others to be “slaves of your will” then you are just playing with yourself. How long can you play by yourself before you go mad? When everything happens exactly as you expect, how long before you cease to exist because you know all the outcomes? This is an example of an “entropy box.”

You may be inclined to think that two “absolute wills” cannot resolve. You will be inclined to think that others can act as obstacles, or influence your ability to direct your life without your input.

This happens for two reasons: 1) one worldism and 2) the buffer.

One worldism is the idea one will must prevail over another — like we are living in one big box that is bound by time & space that we must adhere instead of infinite boxes without regard to “time or space” that we freely navigate or create. One worldism does not recognize that we live in a multidimensional universe where all outcomes are possible without any will overcoming another.

The buffer, as usual, will cofound and confuse you and you will be tempted to believe your will has been violated or disregarded whilst not understanding the full breadth of the choices you have been giving the universe. You have created a storm and want to blame anything other than yourself.

But wait … there is more.

As you start to awaken more, you will start noticing synchronicities that arise within other people that seems as if you are manipulating them. You don’t even have to have any intention of subverting their will — an unspoken thought or some errant note in a journal seems to come to life. You will meet the people you need out of the blue, your friend says something way too specific, friends & family will answer a question you never asked out loud and all kinds of other bizarre things.

A fear will arise here that I call “The Grand Narrator” problem.

The Grand Narrator is a deep, unsettling fear that you are “telling all the stories”, like the omnipotent voice of a narrator in a movie. Grand Narrator is the “end” without others — a bottomless existential loneliness. “God playing with himself for all eternity.”

This is Nonsense trying to set you astray again.

As you become more incorporated within yourself, you are also aligning to other beings who will help you fulfill your intentions.

Why don't the 'less cohesive' people go away?

They do. They flow around you like a fish moving through water. But also because you are now 'broader' or more connected, so can see more of the total spectrum -- these people represent ongoing choices you can make. You can always "go back" or make a detour. A person is a thread connected to another story and it is up to you whether you want to pull on it.

The universe is putting players together exactly so they can fulfill their wills. This has always been the case, but becomes more apparent when it happens often, happens in sequence or happens “positively.” We are oft inclined to accept negative outcomes rather than positive ones and have an almost inherent distrust of success (this is also Nonsense at work.)

Imagine if part of your will (as mine is) is “as much choice as possible” or “freedom.” What does your world look like? It looks like so many choices that you have to learn how to embody the truth within that allows you to overcome choice paralysis. You may be tempted to indignantly not make a choice, but limbo is also a choice.

Be careful … Groundhog’s Day happens when you refuse to make choices, i.e., you deny your own role in the world arising from you. There is a sinister trap of surrounding yourself with “yes-men” ; giving informative power to sources (like news or other people) that just keep you snidely “confirming reality.” This is how a time-loop is created. It is very subtle and can sneak up on you. You will use these as excuses — “See, this is how the world is — there’s nothing I can do. I’ll check back tomorrow.”

Self-mastery means, necessarily, that you align with others that are capable of helping you to the next leg of your (chosen) journey. If you aren’t in the place you imagine you should be, then there can only be one person to blame: you.

But wait … there is one more thing to remember.

There are concepts you can never experience or understand without granting total autonomy to others. Compassion is locked behind granting autonomy to other people, as are feelings like companionship, comradery and love. These require a certain degree of surrender, faith and trust, which are also higher concepts.

How can you discover these aspects of creation when others are just extensions of yourself? You cannot — because these ideas require the uniqueness or independence of other beings in order to exist. How much does a child learn playing with dolls or puppets?

We cannot answer the question whether these beings truly have their own will, because as soon as we answer we are creating a state of mistrust. We simply must “leave it to God (or the absolute trust of ourselves if you wish)” because the moment we provide an answer we are committing ourselves to entropy.

I am a sort of ex-gamer. That is, I used to play video games. A lot. I’ve talked bit about that before.

And now I don’t.

I may do some constructive gaming / content creation in the future.

I didn’t stop playing video games because I hate them, or think they are evil.

The real reason that started the departure was the idea that I was playing a “game within a game.” While this is somewhat just another way of expressing the traditional wisdom of reality vs. fantasy, there is a darker truth to this that pushed me over the edge.

Video games are of course also “part of the whole.” By this, I mean, it does not serve us to think that video games are in a special category versus other ways you can spend your time. Any vice can become an unhealthy fantasy that lets you avoid your own life. The problem is the trajectory that games set you upon in particular.

I still watch others play video games (which strangely is a greater vicarious joy than playing than anymore) and sometimes an ad squeezes through my ad blockers. As of late, I’ve been getting advertisements for VR headsets, the latest of which was centered around the idea of “experiencing the world in VR.” Like climbing mountains, visiting other places or seeing an aurora, or whatever.

Are you fucking kidding me?

The idea of VR sounds so enticing, doesn’t it? All the rewards without any of the investment.

You are being conditioned to re-program your own consciousness (with your consent.) You are being programmed to disown your own world into a “sub world” that is subject to corporate interests.

There are those of you who think this is just some conspiracy, but I will try to explain this is plain terms without the woo-woo.

The nefarious part of this process isn’t that the activities in isolation are dangerous or bad or evil. This is a long-term “restructuring” of your mind, like boiling a frog. You will not turn into a slobbering zombie because you played a video game or put on a VR headset. However …

As you normalize the VR as a substitute, you necessarily — by simply omitting your attention (will) — disown/devalue the parts of your life that the VR now acts as a replacement. So instead of figuring out the steps to becoming a rock-climber, planning the trip, meeting the people and the entire journey, you just throw on the headset for your “experience injection” and call it day.

You become dependent on the provider of these substitute realities. And those who owns the substitute realities own you.

If we’re all immortal, equal beings, why would any being want to “own” another?

Most of the people employing these agendas operate at a lower-level of consciousness. We do not need to attribute to malice what we can attribute to “smaller minds.”

They do not see their own evil (evil being consciousness patterns that bring about Nonsense/chaos). But they will enslave you to them, because it is in their own good to do so. In their mind, this is not evil, or abnormal in any way.

What do I mean by “lower-consciousness?” A “lower” consciousness is a consciousness that needs to feed. It is driven by its urges or its fears. It has a dependence upon the external world for its own ongoing stability/cohesion. It “has no god” because its god is the physical world. Without this feeding process, it breaks down.

This kind of lower-consciousness cannot think in higher modalities so it thinks in solutions appropriate for its level of consciousness. In other words … if all it has is a hammer, then all solutions involve hitting things with hammers.

The low-consciousness mind strives to build, construct and maintain systems that are in its own best interest, i.e., that 1) keep it alive, 2) let it avoid having to face itself to become more cohesive.

You will become a battery to these people if you buy into their “visions of reality.” If you feel offended by “battery”, then perhaps “enabler” is a better term. You enable low-consciousness to perpetuate … because you are absorbing the low-consciousness into yourself and so it becomes a real expression. This is where you should get a little whiff of “unity understanding” if you’re paying attention.

VR is just one aspect. Black boxes — computers, phones, most of the internet — media, policies, fake truth, fake history are a few other means to separate and desensitize you to “living life” or to get you to buy into the “substitute world.”

Calling this all an “agenda” may be too generous when all these examples are just physical manifestations of low-consciousness. The “feed or be fed upon” design is just a natural byproduct. Do you blame a storm for causing rain? There is a legitimate discussion to be had whether there are players in the game who know what they are doing and just don’t care.

For the woo-woo: You cannot die. You can forget, as in a dream. You forget less the higher in consciousness you ascend, just as you are able to recall dreams or “go lucid.” This is all a continuum. You are choosing where your continuum goes RIGHT NOW.

What is the natural evolution of video games and VR headsets except putting your consciousness into smaller and smaller boxes? What is the end result of all these boxes?

I realized this post is basically a poor draft of what is now the front page. I recommend you start there instead.

I have migrated — again — from Tumblr to WordPress. While I am not fond of WordPress (as a developer, it is growing on me), I needed greater control without being bogged down in full ground-up programming and customization. That is not what I am here to do on Earth.

I have re-organized the website into the “First Era” and this post marks the beginning of the Second Era.

The First Era is be the initial birth of Ex Inanis, i..e, the “Year of Pain.”

The First Era was a tale regaling the final moments of a prior life as it struggled against its inevitable end. It was about obtaining confidence I needed to fully step into my truth. This was not a simple task for me because it meant accepting circumstances that I would rather have not, but my spirit would no longer allow me to be indifferent.

The required confidence required me to let go of a lot of anger and resentment, as well as setting aside dysfunctional systems of compassion and sovereignty.

The Second Era will represent a more intentional strategy going forward. I want make this a professional source of information for myself & others and help us all achieve our god-sovereignty.

What is my truth?

Free will is absolute. All decisions are honored and all outcomes happen. There is never anyone or anything to blame but ourselves — absolutely, without exception. The entire universe resolves from this seemingly simple truth.

This truth also implies freedom, for the recognition of this truth is the recognition that we deeply yearn to be free by removing all barriers to the idea of “absolute free will.’ This truth reveals all of the stories that are not in service to our own will — an unsettling perspective most are not willing to explore.

Ex Inanis is the ongoing exploration of this truth. Most humans have a watered-down idea of free will. I have spent most of my life committing to this truth and it is a ravager of the human story.

Understanding that free will is absolute means letting go of everything, because your entire world just becomes stories that you are telling yourself and these stories have power over you. Living “in but not of.”

Most humans can’t accept that their limitations are of their own making. Humans justify, rationalize and excuse their lives behind both mundane and divine authorities, ethics, morals, excuses, physical appearances, and more.

These are all stories we are telling ourselves every day that perpetuate our “prison by implication” or “by omission of our own authority.”

The more the truth of free will is integrated, the more miracles and “spooky actions” happen in your life simply by the making of a decision. Ex Inanis is about reclaiming this DECISION power. Magic is real and it is the power of pure will.

In this blog, I detail how I recognize the patterns — the demons, if you will — that are holding one back. You must often take the leap of faith in order to begin to see truths you couldn’t imagine before.

I hope that readers can learn something from my dedication and experiences to this unusual mindset.

These patterns are subtle, even sublime in their ability to remain undetected within your consciousness. You will learn to applaud or appreciate how adaptive they are because they are essentially you avoiding you.

Ex Inanis is an ongoing exploration of these truths, how to uncover them, how to hold them, and how to apply them.