When I opened Winamp to play some music while I was writing, the Phantom of the Opera “The Point of No Return” came up. Very interesting.
Never in my life have I ignored my emotions or thoughts. My rule since a very young age was to never leave a thought or emotion left un-examined.
Throughout my personal ordeal of 2022, that has certainly been true. So true, in fact, that this time I think the excessive introspection caused more problems than it solved. If I had just surrendered sooner, perhaps the suffering would have been less. But that is a pointless speculation. The opposite could also be true – it could be I needed the ruthless internal checking and stubbornness to get through this.
I have been there before – too much questioning – not enough confidence. Why? Myriad reasons. Another post.
I am still stunned that the degree of suffering I experienced was possible without dying or being rendered unconscious. I am reminded how I am hyper-aware when drunk, except this time it was in excruciating pain.
I am grudgingly learning to let go of this recent experience as I remember lessons I had already discovered and let slip. At least that feels like where I am headed. I am still sorting out the mess. Thus the importance of continuing to work on Ex Inanis.
I don’t like humble pie.
I feel as though I underwent a “life review” or an “integrity check.” This has happened before – I have humorously considered moments like these in the past “deaths.” That perhaps I jumped a timeline or dimension. This can happen either when a paradigm is no longer sustainable or enters into an expansion period.
As the pain & suffering have diminished and a sense of normal oozes back, I may be finding the clarity that I have been missing for this recent “integrity check.”
To continue this post, we need to have a brief tangent.
The universe is not a “singular” place. It resembles something much closer to a Massive Multiplayer Role Playing Game, except where every player is their own instance, with instantaneous-streaming matchmaking.
Individual consciousness is experienced through the intersection of the Will, Wave and Context (Collective). The “individual” part is none of these things, but an emergence that arises out of the mixture.
The Will is “bound” to the Wave, as it requires limitation to “see itself.” Without limitation, there is nothing/everything (void/paradox/potential.) Raw awareness is incapable of experience because it cannot make decisions (observations.)
The Will, however, can change the Wave by deciding what it “puts in.”
The Wave is not bound to the Context, but creates it or is drawn to it via its matchmaking parameters (frequency/vibration, if you want.) As the Wave is simply a conglomeration of choices, it goes without saying that Context is a “choice.”
The Context is the intersection of Waves. Imagine a Venn Diagram of Waves. Waves do not need to be equal, but Waves are bound to the constraints of the Context. If a Wave is capable of more than the Context can process, the Context provides the “best viable story.”
At this time, we are within the Human Context/Collective/Logos.
This will require future articles, but for the sake of simplicity the universe can be thought to contain two categories of Context.
There are Evolutionary Contexts and Prime Context(s).
Evolutionary Context are created by/for beings who have yet to achieve sufficient cohesion to graduate into the Prime Context. Evolutionary Context can primarily be identified by existentialism (in other words, doubt about one’s existence).
By this very doubt, we can know, via the Infinity Principle, that other realties (Contexts) must be possible, because we can imagine realities where there is no doubt.
Evolutionary Context is usually conducted via reincarnation ; beings reincarnate over and over until they are able to achieve enough cohesion to create continuum. Prior lives “leak” into subsequent lives as a means of guidance.
When a being is able to hold continuum (being), they can move into Prime Context. Again, for the sake of simplicity, Prime Context can simply be considered Heaven, Nirvana, or whatever floats your boat. You are able to navigate to any Context or create new Context without restraint. Linearity no longer applies.
The Human Context is certainly within the Evolutionary Context category.
We are doing this little brief overview of some of the core ideas in Ex Inanis because I want to talk about a common pitfall I see in other philosophies/spiritual ideas. There is a prevalent idea that we are “returning to Source/God”, or that we are “God meeting God”, or that the universe moves in cycles ; that is, the universe “dies”, reviews and rebirths (sounds like an integrity check, right?)
We are not returning to Source or God. This would be oblivion. As we mention often here on Ex Inanis, raw awareness cannot make decisions and thus is just a ‘void’ of potential. Ex Inanis thinks this is a poor idea for how to organize your Wave and does not recommend it.
These (very human) paradigms are attempting to create a Prime Context on the foundations of an Evolutionary Context. They are conflating the two. This cannot be done.
The destiny of Evolutionary Context is always the same – it ends. Evolutionary Context is an entropy box “by design” (or if you prefer by low consciousness choice.) The Human Context is overladen with entropy concepts. You will never fix them all. It is impossible. That is part of the “existentialism” trick. It is contingent upon the beings within the Context to “rise above” the limitations of the Context.
No one in the Human Context is “human.” They are just “afflicted” with humanness.
You need compassion in order to “unite yourself” and you need faith in order to disregard appearances – to be in but not of, to be in the audience, but not on the stage. The cohesion of becoming a “continuum” is locked behind compassion/faith. If you continue to “play the game” by investing your soul, you will never reach escape velocity.
This is the lesson I think I am coming back to, I think. These recent events were to release the final things that needed to be released that I was stubbornly holding onto (still in the post-analysis stage) and I again reluctantly admit that I may never have come back around without the severity of the lesson.
Joshua learns “being.”