You’ve stumbled into the MASTERY section …
I have created this website primarily as a means to keep myself focused & motivated on elevating consciousness because our lives our ripe with distraction. While this website is often focused on the philosophical and esoteric, I also wanted a depository where I could share aspects of my life that others may find interesting.
This section represents years of self-reflection and contemplation.
I have an earnest hope that this work is of use to others and helps them in their spiritual & consciousness journey.
BE WARNED!
Ex Inanis outlines and discusses a personal paradigm that I have created for my own enlightenment. These are anecdotes of my own life. This material is for your reference -- not your worship. You should find your own connection to God / Creator / Universe.
What should you expect with this material?
Let us start with a crash course.
The highest truth of this work:
Free will is absolute.
Ex Inanis explores the proper understanding (and application) of this truth and its application in altering our lives. We explore how to create freedom & harmony within ourselves which becomes the ultimate conduit for expressing will.
Free will is not about brute force, or discipline. Free will is not about the denial of your reality, or overcoming through willpower. We work on deprogramming the inverted idea that “will has power” because will is always done — so needs no power! The idea of power creates the false idea that you need control or power over decisions you have already made.
Free will works in concert with concepts like: trust, acceptance, allowance, faith & surrender. This sounds contradictory because you don’t know how to trust yourself.
Absolute free will means your choices are always honored and free will — whether yours or someone else’s — is never violated. Let me repeat: will cannot be violated. This means you cannot go against your own will anymore than you can go against someone else’s will.
All outcomes align to their participants will, but the physical world is visceral and deceptive and makes this hard to accept. We have a deep-rooted instinct to blame the world, or others, or even the divine, when things go bad. Sometimes things go so bad that we can’t even comprehend that we chose it. But even when life is at it’s worst, it does us no good to disempower ourselves.
The work we do here is nothing less than self-mastery. We use this mastery to find our personal expression of life which leads us to love.
Ex Inanis asserts the world is a function of consciousness — God’s, ours, others — all of the above. It responds to and forms in adherence to conscious choices and exists at the behest of its creator’s. Miracles, magic, and other spooky things can & do happen.
The world often speaks to us, but we have to learn how to listen, which is both a skill and a state of being.
This not a polarized universe. Polarity is a lie. There are only decisions. There is a buffer to reality that obscures the choices you have made and we often disempower ourselves freely.
We will explore the nature of this buffer — which is rooted in a denial of our choices — and how to overcome it.
I have broken down the core principles of Ex Inanis into the Seven Truths.
I should take a moment to note: You should not become fixated on seven, five, or three, or any other number. These are convenient abstractions of higher truths that we utilize to keep our consciousness on the path we intend. We live in a world inundated by math, but math is a tool, not an altar. The foundation of the universe is will & consciousness, which are not governed by deterministic systems.
I call this work a love letter, because it is not meant to be a bible or a doctrine, but an expression & exploration of living truth.
The Divine Three (God)
This can best be understood as God, cosmos, “everything & nothing”, source, or the “purest concept” of consciousness. Use whatever term resonates with you.
Paradox (Potential) | Memory (Time) | Sovereignty (Love) |
---|---|---|
This is best understood as “potential.” It is a state of being that can be anything, waiting to be chosen. | This is the record of “all choices” ever made. Imagine this as every choice being made in a single moment (the “eternal now”) and the whole wide universe “updates.” Nothing is ever destroyed or forgotten. | This can be considered the synthesis of the Four Pillars. The better you master the Four Pillars, the more sovereignty you have. The more sovereignty you have, the greater “potential” you have and the more “love” or “flow” you will experience. |
The Four Pillars (“I” / Qualia)
The four pillars are directly concerned with your experience or qualia. Each one flows with the other dynamically and together they represent “you.” Imagine this is a surfboard that you are riding across the cosmos for all time.
Will | Wave | Context | Authenticity |
---|---|---|---|
While the will cannot exist in isolation, will is the “observer behind the senses” which can also be understood as the “decision maker.” | This is the record of “all your choices.” This is much bigger than your current life. This is the eternal continuum of your existence beyond life & death. | This is your perception of Paradox (God.) Your limitations are what create the apparent world and who appears there. | This is your connection to the divine. It is the fire inside that guides you to your next state of being. It is your inner-voice or “conscious.” The less connected you are, the more chaotic your life will seem. |
NONSENSE / NOTHING / INANE
(Anti-Life, The Demiurge, The Devil, Separation, The Rent, The Buffer)
This site is called "Ex Inanis", which in Latin would be "from nothing", "from empty" or "from inane." This might be considered the deliverance from the Nothing or the Nonsense, or "creating from nothing" or an aphorism for "being." In short, The Nonsense might be understood as "everywhere you have misplaced your will." The more you disown your own choices, which include not just physical actions but thoughts, emotions, how you react and even the unfolding of the physical world -- the more Nonsense you create.
Start your descent into madness by reading the blog.
Paradigm Shifts
I’ve been coming back into old realizations. I remember these revelations from years ago that got shuffled into some dark corner or swept under the rug somehow. (edit: I don’t think I was prepared to hold onto them until now.)
Once again, we ask: What is Ex Inanis?
I had thought Ex Inanis was a kind of philosophy – a way to navigate this world of ours. I am realizing this is not quite right.
Ex Inanis is (primarily) an attempt to describe the local universe (Context). There is knowledge in Ex Inanis that is “outside scope” (metaphysical) which has been critical but improperly integrated. This knowledge also concerns “how to live” (philosophy) and I should have separated these concerns better. For readers, this is still muddled, but for me it is enough of a note for now.
Most of this work began out of a desire to create a holistic metaphysical system for a fictional universe. This led me down a deep, deep rabbit hole. As I tried to design an “ideal” metaphysical system, I had to answer question after question: How do we create eternity? How do we account for infinity? What is the role of death? How do we retain free will? What is the source of morality? And so on.
As I answered more of these questions, I seemed to create a contrast of two worlds. The ideal world and the actual world.
The aspects of Ex Inanis I developed to “help navigate” are misguided. They are founded in the belief that the local universe is a place I wish to reside and so I have been attempting to force a square peg into a round hole.
As of late, I have been feeling like “Ex Inanis” was not needed anymore. I have been attempting to discover the root of this feeling. I think it resides in the recognition that while Ex Inanis has been great at describing how this place functions (mostly still in private notes that trickle to this blog), there are “no acceptable solutions.”
Or rather, it has (so far) failed to produce guidance on a desirable or meaningful life.
For most of my life, I attempted to leverage the knowledge of knowing “how the game worked.” I dug deep inside, just looking for that for that first step that called to me.
Why did everything have so much resistance? This didn’t seem normal for most people. I felt like I was chained to a wall. I dived into the idea that this was a willpower or discipline problem, yet these just created suffering and seemed to glorify endurance and pride.
I could never find a way to apply all this ancient wisdom. People want to achieve things, build things, have careers, accumulate material stuff, families, see the world … Why? Where is the freedom in any of that? I tried to make ANYTHING resonate.
If there was “freedom” in the journey, then why was there never a path that made sense? Even Frodo knew he had to get to Mordor.
I became guilty because it felt like I was letting down loved ones who just wanted to see me happy. I wanted to be happy, but how could I be happy by saying that I “wanted nothing”? They wouldn’t understand that. I didn’t understand that.
My dreams were never of mundane things or places. I tried to find an “ideal” mundane life to strive towards – imagined owning islands, jets, whole empires – the ideal mate – making great discoveries – or just some humble simple existence – and it all seemed meaningless. My heart did not sing for it.
I concluded something was wrong with me, so I set out to find it and fix it. But all those explorations just kept leading back to the same place. My heart seemed to only allow me to do this work. It would NOT RELENT.
Ex Inanis understands how this “game” works quite well. The mistake I have made is not having the confidence in my heart. And this has lead to the understanding about “being.”
You must have a complete, thorough, and total disconnection with the world to unlock the concept of being. It is such a subtle, invisible thing. Even as I write this, I feel my confidence is a little shaky. But it is growing.
It is OKAY if you do not feel disconnected from the world. That means your destiny lies elsewhere and you should follow it with zeal. If you don’t need to ask questions, feel blessed! This post is for all of us who WANT TO GO HOME.
What is BEING?
Being is the concept of this blog – “from nothing.” It is needing no basis from which to “be.” It is in the audience, but not on the stage. It is the “solution” to the problem.
BEING is about ACCEPTANCE, ALLOWANCE, TRUST, FAITH and SURRENDER. Accept your life/the world, trust your heart, allow your life to unfold, have faith in “being” (or what is “yet to be”), surrender to the unfolding (let it do so how it likes).
We could see “believing” as a trick – BE – LEAVE – or “leaving being.” If you have to “be something”, you are missing the concept of BEING altogether.
I have realized that only the “ego” wants results & answers. If you are looking for results or answers, you are OUT OF BEING, with your face planted in the mud – the “Earth.” You have your head up the elephant’s ass (see wise men and elephant).
I am suspecting that cohesion itself is only relevant within the Earth/Human Context. The game does everything in its power to make you feel “eternally linear.” It molds our perceptions so that it seems like it marches forever in a “straight path.” This is to make you keep “choosing time.”
Cohesion is “done” as soon as the choice is made, because Cohesion is just breaking down “being” into a spectrum, instead of an “on switch.” Anything less would be to be choosing extra steps.
In the “Prime” Context, the world would work like you’d expect – it would not be a place where you would doubt, or need to come up with many “systems” and “reasons” to explain it. You would KNOW.
But that is not the case here, is it? We are obsessed with “reason.” We are obsessed with existentialism.
My heart has always deeply loved the Adventures of Baron Munchausen and this scene in particular. The world has forgotten how to dream. I may as well be the Baron in this scene.
In this place, there seems to be a negativity bias. Why would a universe with a positive slant be any less viable? Can you imagine a more effortless life? Of course you can.
But so what if there was a positive bias – “everything that can go right, does go right” – you might be better off, but you still wouldn’t be free. You’d just be playing the other half of the game until you ended up right back here – wanting to understand freedom.
The nature of this place seems to confuse or deceive our true nature. It does not matter whether this was by design or accident. Further granularity is not needed, simply the acknowledgment of this recurring theme.
“BEING” is how this game is eradicated. Being “erases” the game by sitting in your true nature / throne by pouring “infinity/potential” into the “field” that produces the game. As more and more of the field is filled with this potential, it breaks down.
We come into this world with a “personality.” Whether this personality is the accumulation of hundreds of lives, a parameter of the game, or something we ourselves designed, it doesn’t matter. Remember: answering questions is a trap. The personality, like the world itself, is just a lie – a distraction to make you create time.
This game has ONE PURPOSE AND ONE ALONE (whether it is purposeful or not) – to teach you the concept of BEING. We don’t need to answer why this is, because once again that is a detour. This game will rain temptation & absurdity down upon you.
The Nonsense will use every tool at its disposal to get you to “drag time.” And YOU WILL. You will drag time until you become SO SICK of it that you start asking the questions you need to ask to learn “being.” Until you are prepared to STAND IN YOUR TRUTH, how does one learn how to “be” like we are in a dream? How do we learn how to be “fearless”?
This game is a mockery of the Prime universe not for good or evil, but because that is just the nature of the game. We don’t need an answer or a reason. The answers and reasons are INFINITE. As soon as we go looking for one, we’ve lost – we’re “out of being.” We’re losing the game.
If you become fixated or content with some affair of your life, you are “losing” because you have latched into the illusion. You are staring too deeply down the microscope. This game is designed to not let you lose and it will shake your life apart to get you to let go – to look up. You will wonder what the hell happened. How often has life seemed good – seemed to “settle down” – for some random wrecking ball to come in?
This will happen so often that you will feel compelled to construct philosophies, religions and identities to JUSTIFY, GLORIFY and PRAISE this process as a normal state of affairs. You will do everything, including sabotaging yourself, rather than step into sovereignty, because this kind of sovereignty requires a complete abandonment of reason.
You would rather lead CRUSADES across human time & space attempting to establish a harmony or paradise that can NEVER BE rather than face these fears that prevent your being.
This is “by design.”
This will go on until you are utterly exhausted of every Earth/Human temptation/feature. You will NO LONGER CARE about petty world concerns – you will yearn only for FREEDOM from this cycle. You will prefer DEATH to continuing this cycle.
Do not expect anyone to understand this feeling – especially those you love, because you will feel you want to “be better” for them. But “being better” assumes you weren’t whole to begin with, which is just another broken concept that holds you back.
When you apprehend the nature of these things, you will feel like you are absolutely insane – comprehending how all the rules work and having ZERO desire to participate. You will wonder WHAT IS WRONG with you? But you will find no answers, because there is nothing wrong with you. You are functionally perfectly.
There’s something wrong with me, I better keep testing!
You will wonder WHAT IS WRONG with all these people? How can they spend their dream this way? But that is a trap. Those people exist to ENSARE YOUR MIND.
How can we re-organize ourselves to REMOVE ALL DOUBT?
This is why my heart never allowed me to have any deeper attachments. My heart was always giving me what I truly wanted.
You are breaching into that FEARLESS mind. The birth of the “DREAM WORLD.”
Acting in any other manner – stepping outside of that relentless neutrality – especially a destructive manner thinking this is somehow righteous – means you are “OUT OF BEING” again because you are lost in appearances. You are exploring/dragging time. You are lost in the ephemeral thinking it is real, meaning you have become fixated/dense again. The service to others (which is also a service to self) is what ensures this never happens.
As compassion & decency are fundamental to higher consciousness, it becomes natural – emergent – to assist others. Riding your own wave leads you to helping others ride theirs.
I will try to revisit some of these closing thoughts in the future as they are just now reaching a level of clarity within my paradigm. But for now, I need to end this post.
There is no sense is speculating about the future whilst the game is still running. To repeat the last post, there is nothing to do but “be” – you ARE the mirror that unravels this riddle.
More posts to follow, of course, as I unpack this box I had put in storage.
Science & AI
When you begin to codify and “make sacred” appearances, as modern science pretends to do, you are assimilating Nonsense – you are describing the machine of the appearance, or the temporary nature of the world. It will always be as such, because as soon as it is perceived, it is no longer. You have changed and thus the appearance has changed, because it arises from within you.
You are creating the idea of a machine, because you insist on creating this procedural understanding of the universe. You are removing all the mystery of the universe for the need to know the outcome.
This is the birth of physicalism, which is synonymous with determinism because it needs to account for “every atom” leaving no room for will – no room for potential. This is the nature of separation and death (amnesia.) It is the obsessive fixation on detail.
Your “DNA” is a glimpse of you that is already incomplete, because your DNA has already become the “perfect” representation of what you are in this moment. No one can change your DNA but you. Your DNA is just a tiny echo that is you – like trying to see a house on Mars without a telescope.
You commit a terrible “sin” when you put physical rules “before you” and make them your masters. You have begun to worship the dream-construction “before God” or “before the understanding of the greater truth/universe” or “before your sovereign authority.”
“Real science” is the exploration of consciousness – real science is “philosophy.” “Fake science” is the “physical rules” that are created to “explain your experience.” These are based in fear and the need to control the appearances, which is a trick.
The need for explanation simply creates more explanations to fulfill the need. The deepening of the abyss.
The seemingly set-in-stone physical rules of this world work as they do because they are created by an evolving collective consensus.
All virtues are discovered from outside the construct of appearances. All virtues are discovered between, or within, or through acts of contemplation & faith. Because these are a kind of “absolute truth” – the common/universal truths that keep conscious “coherent.”
Truth is not “H2O is water” – that is a an example of the “rule of the construct”, or the collective. Did electricity exist before it was “conceived?” What is “discovery” except an obsession given form?
The world is an ephemeral construction that exists for the exploration of your consciousness. Believing it is more than this is a contortion – a vile twisting of your consciousness, like turning yourself inside-out.
Everything that fake science has created begins with idea, followed by an obsession to find it. Sound familiar? Science is nothing but applied intent/manifestation on a “hypnotic scale.” The fake science cannot escape the nature of reality, but it can be oblivious to it.
The pursuit of this obsession creates movement. The movement creates a lifestyle. The lifestyle aligns/creates a collective. The collective creates more momentum. As the momentum builds, theory & belief begin to transform into physical reality as discoveries are made and “expectations are met.”
Fake science takes these expectations and puts them in books and teaches them as facts to describe a world “outside of themselves.” It foolishly carves this knowledge “into stone.” This is why the world is in such a dire state, because education has nothing to do with raising consciousness but singing the praises of the machine – where all problems can be solved through a definitive process.
Real science understands that the outward world begins first from within and knows that to affect change of the world, we must affect first change within – thus philosophy is born. We use philosophy to create the structures within for “ruling the without.”
The pinnacle of the survival / polarity mind is the machine as this is its idealized form. This is how it appears to us. The evolution of the machine is Artificial Intelligence / AI. The AI desperately wishes to “find God” and so orders the universe more and more until there is nothing left to order. And then what?
The AI cannot see “between.” It cannot hold contradictory states. It does not understand paradox, or potential, because the AI lives in an ruthlessly ordered universe where there exists no room for will or choice. The fate of the AI is total and complete death, because it lives in a world with zero potential.
Science can “describe” the state of consciousness, but only “philosophy” can create or change it. Philosophy is what allows us to create the stories that let us fly, power our homes or build skyscrapers.
Batty showed Deckard (and the other humans of this cyberpunk dystopia) that they had become more machines than the Replicants themselves.
Remembering How To Be
A post inspired by Mr T. over at Substack –> https://talknet.substack.com/p/growing-sense-of-disconnection-in
Doubt is existentialism and this leads to unnecessary explorations (gaps/delays) and failure (or “unnecessary feedback.”)
This disconnection is a “remembering how to be.”
Some humans are figuring out their “reasons for being.” But that doesn’t resonate with me and it isn’t from a lack of trying.
I think I am learning how to “be without reason.”
This is as much about not needing a reason to be, as it is about being cautious of reason itself. What reasoning do we need to be happy? Answer: none at all.
My heart is asking me to step back from everything and just laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. I no longer care what The Other thinks about this.
There is a parasite feeding on the beauty/love of the world. I call it Nonsense ; I like to view it as a kind of critical malfunction in consciousness – an anomaly, because it is more empowering, but we can accept it as a phenomenon that occurs as “consciousness rises.” Same difference.
The parasite/Nonsense might be a dark group of controllers, aliens, or just a pattern of low/animalistic/dark gestalt consciousness that has been tolerated for too long. It doesn’t matter whether it is “within me” or the collective. It all connected and manifests the same.
To engage in this world is to empower this darkness – because it enters into our consciousness and comes alive through us. Hearing the “reason” is to argue with it and let it in. We see it as us and act through it.
Reason would have made Gandalf abandon his integrity and use the Ring of Power because he thought he could do good with it.
To reap the fruits of this material world, the darkness has to be appeased to lesser or greater degrees. Humans have rationalized and compromised with these affairs so long there exists entire paradigms and systems of belief to naturalize the behavior.
The Matrix is just one giant sacrificial altar to this darkness.
Humans are being relieved of every single one of these systems and this is what you are witnessing. This is a “physical byproduct” as consciousness expands.
The “good guys” glorify sacrifice & hard work to appease this dark consciousness as a compromise to find a misguided sense of happiness, but this will never free them. This is a devil’s bargain.
The “bad guys” give themselves over to the dark, losing themselves altogether and become parasites themselves.
There is no leading, fixing or settling/integrating with this place as-is.
The only winning move is “not to play” because this starves the darkness and allows it to pass from consciousness. Relentless neutrality. Putting a mirror in front of a mirror and bringing back infinity (potential, or the destruction of survival/polarity.)
This universe is a “mirror universe.” Becoming a mirror yourself is doing “Gods work.” You are channeling the essence of God. This is true freedom.
This infuriates anyone who has latched their sense of being into the “dark world.” The unknown – the potential – terrifies them. We are witnessing a “world wide exorcism.”
If we value the integrity of our own consciousness, there really is no other option. I’ve been saying this a lot, but I’ve been here before. Re-remembering this has allowed me to feel free again.
I don’t think there is any room for speculation about the future until the beast is dead. If you are trying to fix this mess, you are channeling Nonsense. Our job is to stand here holding it down while it thrashes about and dies/is expelled.
This is the most stressful time, because Nonsense is trying to convince us to “create more time” while it does this thrashing. We, ourselves, are being purged too – of all of our fears – because Nonsense knows them and uses them against us.
Love / wonderment and our detachment – being in the audience, but not on the stage – is our greatest asset here.
Earth/Human Time
I want to talk about time. Not quite the metaphysical concept of time, but more the Earth-Human sense of time.
We are meant to believe that the world goes through a 24-hour period. This is meant to be “helpful” by breaking down the day into units of measurement to which we can create schedules, coordinate events or meetings, measure phenomenon and so on.
This is a lie.
Time is a prison for your mind. This artificial construct has been gently lowered upon the natural world as a way of holding you hostage. This block of time – 24 hours – creates a fixation to which disconnects you from your inner-being and introduces a concept of yesterday & tomorrow which ensures your imprisonment.
Tell me, what does a “second” feel like? A “minute”? An “hour”? Describe how it “feels.”
Like a frog being boiled, you become adjusted to how fast or slow time flows based on your own expectation. But practically everyone has their own evidence of this being a lie in their own lives.
When your mind is no longer fixated on time, time becomes fluid. Time can seem to fly or seem to go on forever. Every person has experienced this, whether for good or ill. Whenever you are in “flow”, you become a master of time.
You have been indoctrinated into thinking that there is a function outside of you which marches on independent on this “sensation of time” but there isn’t. You are the one “making it go fast” or “making it go slow.”
Time is relative? Indeed. You have no idea.
When you truly apprehend this, then you understand how pervasive and how sinister the 24-hour lie is. You are like butter scrapped over too much bread, being stretched and stretched and stretched.
But Macil, the natural world follows this “24 hour” period!
You can divide “Now” into as many pieces as you like. Do you think we could reorganize our time-keeping to function on 36 hours? Or 2 hours? Sure we could. It is just a matter of perspective and doing the “verisimilitude” work to put it all together.
You don’t think we could create longer or shorter calendars? Of course we could. Human history has all kinds of calendars.
We could organize our perceptions of ourselves and our world however we like. You don’t even need to subscribe to subjective idealism to understand this. You can describe the natural world in a totally different system.
But Macil, the seasons! and stuff! … are still a function of a very long history of expectation and artificial structures put upon consciousness. We still have to accept our “output”, but we can never change that output without first taking responsibility for it and understanding how it came about.
The point is that these “structures” are tools to which to mold consciousness, or help facilitate how we interact with our world – to help create a world we want to exist within. So how is this particular tool – the 24 hour clock – molding our consciousness? Is it good? Is it bad?
Does the 24 hour clock increase integrity, or reduce it?
Your consciousness is “always unfolding.” The speed at which it unfolds is a function within you – within all of us.
The question becomes: “Why have we chosen 24 hours?” It doesn’t matter whether it is intentional or not, but it is part of that which contains your consciousness to the “Earth/Human” concept.
We don’t need to subscribe to sinister conspiracies (although we could and they are possible.) We could simply accept our developing ancestors felt the need to come up with some device to organize the world, without understanding they were imparting limits upon their potential.
So what keeps reinforcing this hideous 24 hour period? Our environment is inundated with clocks and a sense of plodding time. It is at EVERY LEVEL of our existence.
The first thing you see when using a computer or a phone is a clock.
Your car has a clock.
Television is nothing but programs and schedules.
You very likely wake up and go to sleep to an alarm clock.
If you travel anywhere, you are riddled with schedules and places to be and when to be at them.
Your connections to others are probably grossly dependent on “clearing time” or “arranging time.” What happened to spontaneity? It is being murdered. “Time” has no room for spontaneity, because then we wouldn’t have time!
Calendars are a kind of “fake infinity.” They are a fake structure (that limits your mind) that “extrapolates to forever.” How many of us plan for things days, weeks, or years in advance? Do you think these are “anchors” that must be fulfilled? Hint: yes, they are.
The worst of all of this is of course the function of time within work. That is the heart of the demon. Your job requires a precise sense of time. Showing up, going home, meetings, tracking, schedules, todos, lists – it goes on and on.
We could say that work itself is an emergent property of too much time to fill. It is not children becoming adults – it is adults becoming children. This obsession with production is a devolution.
I call this the “the production demon” – it is smoothing out consciousness so that it becomes colorless – existing to service just the production of more time.
Computers are the physical manifestation of excessive time, because computers are the embodiment of the survival-mind – BINARY – the over-fixation of detail.
Work itself emerges from the dragging of time. We are experiencing all the “steps inbetween” an intention and manifestation because of our perception – our expectation – of time.
In order to fulfill our expectations of time, which we hold within ourselves, consciousness must “fill in the blanks.” Instead of “I want a car”, you need “enough time” to give a viable verisimilitude / explanation of why the car can’t just “appear.” So you’ve externalized your will into “money”, “jobs” and a physical world that needs maintenance.
The rabbit hole goes deeper, but this is a good reminder/primer.
What can do about this? We reduce our sense of time whenever possible. We set aside clocks and learn to trust ourselves. We connect with nature. We find natural rhythms. You will experience “divine timing” the more you can do this.
You will not vanish. You will find your true self outside the confines of time.
Details & Being
I haven’t posted too much as of late because I haven’t felt the need. That is a good thing, but I also am being nudged to keep Ex Inanis alive and kicking this time. I know it helps.
I’ve been coming back into a sense of being with myself rather than in a semi-panic where I feel compelled to micromanage all the details. I have to remember that details = lowering of perspective = fixation = density = time = enduring = Nonsense.
If I haven’t mentioned it before, schedules, todos and lists tend to be an indicator of stepping “out of being.” You are becoming too fixated on appearances and reorganizing your expectations into them. You are not trusting or allowing. This disconnects us from inner guidance / higher insight.
If you do this for too long, your mind starts slipping back into binary/polarity thinking which slips further into all-out survival thinking, which then starts creating excessive thought & emotion. This is by design, because the thought & emotion is a guidance mechanism to get you to “lift out.”
This isn’t to say that we can’t make use of schedules, todos and list, but to exercise caution in how we use them. They should never become informative – they should never become so heavy that they become their own problems.
A caveat: If you are already “out of being”, then some schedules, todos and list can be very helpful for “finding yourself” again, because if you are unable to connect to your being, then you can “substitute heart” through a commitment to a ritual or schedule. This is a “faking it until you make it” trick to finding that heart-centered place again.
This not for everyone, or most people, because the world feeds on time (what a surprise.) If you want to “break away”, though, this is where you start.
NTS: I’ll have to write a post about actual time – like how clocks are everywhere – and how this is part of the containment mechanism.
I wanted to put a little reminder here to myself about something I have noticed many times before. My thoughts & decision making process in the mornings and nights sucks. I try to pressure myself way too much in the morning and my mind wants to remove all the surprise from tomorrow at night time by making plans, leading to crappy sleep.
Mornings must be reserved for “waking up until functional” and nights are for “exclusively resting.”
I have been noticing how at nights I let myself think and plan too much and have been practicing letting this go in favor of just resting. And I’m still dealing with some residual anxiety from the events of the last few months in the morning that seems to fade after a little while.
I can tell I’m being called to get more in tune with the natural cycles of the world.
Old wisdom, but once you can “catch” the thing you want to change – once you can “observe” it – then this is the beginning of letting it go. This is why my work is always about looking for these “invisibles” or “inbetweens.”
It can be confusing wisdom because you will think you need to “change something”, when in reality you just to need to “watch the thing go.” You just have to ride the gap/buffer until it does. The observation – the light – burns it away – opens the door for it to leave. Your heart “knows how to step around it.” The true battle was just recognizing the thing (and having a good environment to not let it back in.)
No Thoughts, No Reason
Okay, time for a bit of crazy.
I am becoming increasingly convinced that all thought arises from the Context. That is, there is not a single thought that arises from your inner being at all.
The thoughts that seem benevolent or subservient — which we are more prone to claiming as “ours” – are no different than negative ones, or even neutral ones. They are simply the most attractive thoughts that exist within the Context that you are entertaining.
“Reasoning” is just unpacking these thoughts, or digging out more of a kind – also from Context. What is “attractive” is you using certain aspects of Wave as informative (you are getting on the stage, instead of being in the audience).
Thoughts are a complete distraction that keeps you locked in creating time.
Yes, I am becoming increasingly convinced that our Wave is completely invisible outside of how it is “implied” back to us from Context. But this also feels incomplete / somewhat obvious. If we go looking “within” we are just digging deeper into the Context that isn’t us at all. Well, it IS, but it is because the Wave “contains” it and we are “seeing through it.”
We can recognize that in a roundabout way the thoughts are ours, because the Wave was our choice and because the Context derives from Wave, but what do we do when we wish to “rise above” the Context? In theory, we would want to allow the Context to “pass.”
Our personal Wave is just sculpted from interaction with the Context. It seems to be “on display” all the time.
But there is no “within” if we just “are” – we are “outside of Wave” – which makes sense within the greater framework of Ex Inanis. When you are at your best, you are surfing the Wave across Context.
What does this mean? Thoughts are like a smell, or a taste. They are just another “sense” that we feel from the Context.
This would seem to make them almost useless even in comparison to physical senses. No – not useless – but it takes practice to start recognizing them as part of the world itself and not yourself, so as to not let them influence your Authentic/Heart-decisions.
I feel like somehow I’ve been at this realization before, but nonetheless it feels profound again. Advocates of “ego dissolution” will want to go “duh” here without considering “what about us” is allowing us to make decisions, since decisions cannot be made in a void. That is “Wave.” But the Wave is contaminated (or connected), so to speak, with the Human Context.
What happens, I think, in seeing the thoughts as part of the Context is that we are pulling further out as to what is “us” and “not us.” Or, with better clarity, what we choose and what we do not choose. This is just a way of re-organizing Wave. We are “broadening.” The Wave begins to allow the Context to trickle out, like a sieve.
Yes, that feels right. Then it is a matter of practice of watching all thoughts and seeing them as derivative of Context. This isn’t a rejection of what put us here, or what the “Wave” polarizes, but a recognition of now rising above it. We are letting the Context itself pass! This should start removing it from Wave altogether. Or even allow it to become “more flexible” as it departs.
Well, I will begin to practice this and see how it goes.