February 28, 2025
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Success, Pain & Persistence

What does success look like? It looks like pain & persistence. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

What is pain?

Pain is the soul purifying itself. It is what it feels like when it identifies a distortion or imbalance within the soul. When there is incoherence or a lack of integrity, it produces pain. Pain can be physical or mental. Pain represents a blockage, or a stagnation, as this is what blocks will -- the flow of life -- and when it becomes severe enough, it will begin to produce distortions in your reality -- not just your body, but your entire life, even including who is invited into your experience and how they treat you, for you cannot help but "hear" your own Nonsense (or "the devil.")

It is not Nonsense jumping from person to person, but YOU who are hearing your own flaws through the voices and stories of others. YOU will create the perfect story every time because only YOU know yourself best.

What is critical to understand about all of reality is that everything is a mirror until you are able to actualize. Once actualization is done, you are able to distill your "ego" out of all perception. Combine this with the true understanding of Unity -- which is that you are watching a kind of choose-your-own-adventure movie which encompasses the entire world of your experience both inside & out -- this combination allows you to detach from the entire scene of the world.

Understanding any of this on an intellectual level is insufficient. It takes years of commitment to these ideas to "train" the soul. Lip service is not good enough. Belief cannot be faked. The soul is a student that requires your training. Your lucid awareness is how the soul is trained. Your lucid awareness is your apex absolute dominion and the world must obey. This training process is not done with simple apprehension, but applied practice.

Nothing is omitted from this practice. The soul is trained whether you are "still" or "in motion" because will/creation is


The Mirrored Path

From where does your light originate?

It originates from God and nowhere else. Each person is their own tree of life.

https://www.pexels.com/@daniel-watson-90038/

Suffering begins with this denial. Suffering is when branches reach into other trees thinking they must shelter them, or shelter themselves. Suffering begins when you seek out sources of light other than God's, from which you are already rooted.

All have a connection to God that cannot be destroyed or removed, but can be self-obfuscated. It can be obfuscated by coveting the light of The Other ; it can also be obfuscated through the belief that The Other can obfuscate it.

All of reality could be said to be a scale of suffering, as perfection would be the only state where suffering does not exist. Perfection would be "all of creation", "the known universe", aka God. This is the eternal state machine that produces "Now" ; the eternal universe for which there is no end, no beginning -- no time -- just this moment from which you cultivate with your decisions.

All of your experience a product of this eternal state with you hold within. Your body, your thoughts, your feelings, your sensations, your definitions, your relationships, your meanings, space -- whether the space of your mind, or the space between objects, or the space between the pain or pleasure in your body -- your "Others." All of it. It is not outside of you.

All things are possible and you exist now at the forefront of your collective choices. You can be nowhere else as there is nowhere else to be. You cannot "go" anywhere except where you are as you follow you. To misunderstand this is to open the door to physicality where you have displaced yourself into a "place." You can feel this "divide" when you think you are "in" the movie instead of watching it. And watching = choosing. The next "frame" is not determined.

You have already arrived at your own perfection which is eternally imperfect.


Fixation & The Matchmaker

The older I get, the less objections I seem to have to the phrase "All is One."

As an extension of our last article: "What is natural?", essentially all distortion can be traced directly back your distance from from God -- from life -- from people. From your "qualia" -- your experience. Again, distance being a hide-and-seek game with your own will.

For the context of this article, what is "distortion?"

Distortion is most easily understood as fear, but manifests more as consumption (as in, the consumption or expiration of your experiential world), but it is technically whatever isolates you further within yourself and lengthens the time between your decisions and the execution of your will.

I use the term fixation rather than density, because it is easy to imagine yourself fixating on something -- on focusing on something with intent. When you understand this idea of fixation, you can work backwards to connect yourself to the idea of the "world" you are experiencing before you. You can "broaden your horizons" knowing that you are the horizons.

Density is a little harder to convey, in my opinion. Density suggests a heaviness, which can be felt but easily missed. Density doesn't relate you to your experience quite as well. I use the word fixation because it lets you sink your teeth into the idea through a simple exercise. Look closely at any object near you. Now, unfocus your gaze and take in as much of your room as possible.

When you are unfocused like this, do you feel different? I want you to note the feeling between the two perspectives. Do you see how you "exclude" the background when you are focused? And do you see how when you "broaden your horizons", you include everything? This is similar to how you may have viewed the world when you were a child and closer to a "natural state." Now use your imagination and see how you may "fixate" like this on other ideas, concepts or people beyond your sensory perceptions as well.

Here is another trick. If something requires


What does natural mean?

The best definition of natural can be summarized as: 'a measure of distance from God.'

Now, what do we mean by distance?

God is your immediate scene. The context. It is life. Your immediate qualia. It is everything that is derived from "you." It is all around you and everything within you. The seen and the unseen. This is Unity, or the practice of unifying everything you experience -- the physical world, the mental world, the subtle (invisible relationships, definitions, meaning) and other people -- as "one."

When you understand this Unity, then anything that imposes a weight upon it can be considered a distance. In order to have experience -- in order to impose some sense of order upon the cacophony of omniscience -- we must impart these weights. Weights might also be considered judgements, or boundaries. The way you experience a flower is a collection of boundaries.

You must have a concept of perspective -- seeing behind your eyes -- a sense of physical distance -- the space between you and the flower -- the texture of the petals, the scent, the shape -- are all boundaries that are required for you to have an experience. There are more subtitles that are hidden here as well like disowning a part of your will to allow a sense that the flower is 'not you', that allows the flower to borrow your will to grow and so on.

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Live Like an Immortal

How do you make your decisions? Do you plan for tomorrow? Do you consider yesterday?

You shouldn't.

You already know everything you need to know right now. The moment you step forward or back -- you have become lost. Much like the moment you argue with anything or anyone -- you lose.

Tomorrow doesn't exist. Today depends on tomorrow -- not the other way around. What you do today does not produce "tomorrow" but what you expect for tomorrow DOES produce today, because tomorrow is just a story you are holding in your mind. That is how the illusion of time is created.

It is the heavy burden of yesterday & today that creates the "sequence" of your "now" experience that is so misleading. It is the expectations of this sequence that keeps you moving from one page to the next, rather than skipping ahead or changing books.

Reality does not divide neatly into yesterday, today, or tomorrow, but the rising of the sun & moon, the tracking of calendars and the outputs of clocks give clever devices to fooling you. When you sleep, you loosen the reins of your iron grip for a little while on this game you are playing and let the universe play with you a little more freely.

When you understand that numbers on a clock and the sun in the sky are part of a "program" deep within yourself then you understand your entire experience is "you."

All of these things produce expectations, habits and motions in which you continually repeat "sequence" even when the sequence no longer serves you, or turns into suffering. It creates the "buffer" of reality, like a boomerang you are throwing in every moment. But the throwing of the boomerang is the mistake in the first place -- not a design to glorify.

You are the clocks, the sun, the moon and the stars. You are the land, the houses, the people. But they are also themselves and they join you


How does vampirism work?

Be sure to read the prior article: What is evil? since I posted both of these at the same time.

To understand vampirism, there are quite a few mechanics of this world that one must understand. I will attempt to give a high level overview here, but don't expect to understand this all at once. Again, as I spoke about when I started this blog -- the blog is meant to be taken as a whole. If a piece gives you an 'aha', then that is great -- but the understandings I am putting out here are incomplete in themselves.

First of all, vampires do not understand they are vampires. As we talked about in the prior article, Nonsense has no agency. Those who are indulging in vampirism have no agency but are more "possessed of Nonsense." There is a reason the vampire is "undead" -- because it has no life. It is false life. An abdication of the throne -- an ejection of God. They are letting the natural energy of the cosmos run wild in their realm but have a basic structure of "ego" that allows it some kind of animation or structure that is deceptive.

The natural state of a soul is unconditional love, because that is the "root of God." Then there are "layers on top" that allow life to be expressed. Some of these layers produce Nonsense, or anti-life -- these are patterns we talked about in the prior article. These prevent souls from using their agency.

One must have a basic understanding of the idea of the True Self, or what I call MVG -- or what others might call Nirvana, Christ Consciousness, Enlightenment and so on …

You are the observer behind it all, making Decisions. It seems like this should be a simple concept to convey, but physical reality makes this impossibly hard to teach people.

It is a little easier if you can accept the whole world and your physical experience is coming from you. I call this Unity. It is not outside of you. This will ease your understanding a little that you are like


What is evil?

Evil is in the word itself -- inverted life. Anti-life. Evil is what I call "Nonsense" because this is what evil produces -- nonsense, the inane/insane, chaos, anti-creation.

Evil is not destruction. Evil is not death. Evil is not "negative" -- like wrath, or envy. Evil is not the opposite of good, or the opposite of positive.

Evil is that which breaks down the coherence of consciousness. It produces patterns that displace or remove the ability of life to exist. It is a kind of glitch produced by attempting to create an impossible state, or the confluence of states that are incompatible -- thus creating a space for evil.

It is not easy to point and say: "That is evil." Evil requires skillful discernment, but when one begins to comprehend the basic requirements of life, it becomes easier to identify the things which cause life to suffocate.

Stagnation is often an indication of evil, for example. Excess is also often a hiding place of evil.

If I had to summarize evil, it is the abdication of will. When one steps off their throne, evil sits on it. This is a spectrum and not a binary. You can "partially" abdicate.

Come get some.

But let us be clear: evil has no agency. Evil is anti-agency. Evil does not think, or plan, or strategize. It does not experience. Experience happens *to it.* Evil victimizes itself. It is how you "try" to experience pretending you do not have free will, but this creates an impossible state which creates "glitches" which you experience as a breakdown of reality.

As soon as you begin to see enemies or adversaries, you are disowning your will so that you may experience these challenges and opposition. If you blame, judge or ridicule others, you have fallen off your throne and allowing evil to play -- and evil will always create chaos.

Evil is not capable of creation because creation requires the


My Little Fox

This is a tale about a man lost in a labyrinth of endless mind, imagination and shadow with no way out.

You bound into my life with a dazzling fire and illuminated the dark place that I dwelt. I chased after your fire, terrified to leave the place I reluctantly called home for so long. I did not know what I was doing and I did not care. I felt foolish and embarrassed.

I was mesmerized by your light. I could not pull away. You brought such vibrancy to the world that I could see, if only to stumble. I was not afraid to walk when you were near.

You banished the gloom and my heart warmed, my eyes softened and I could feel again. But I did not know what to do with it.

I saw how my darkness let you rest from your own nature. You could curl up in my lap -- just for a little while. You could set aside your cleverness, ease your paws and just be without needing to be anywhere. But you were always drawn back to where you came and I grieved every time you left.

You came to visit me again and again and we celebrated this odd partnership that seemed to come out of nowhere that we could not define.

But ultimately it was a dance we could not keep up.

You wanted me to keep up with you, but I feared the forest. I leapt, and ran and jumped, but I did not have your grace. I fell over and over again. And I was afraid of your fire. I needed you to cool your flames for just a little while so I could hold your hand -- but you did not know how.

But we tried anyway. Over and over. And we burned each other. And even though it burned, it seemed right. Every wound was secretly a blessing.


Twin Flames

Honeysuckle flowers by Beverly Buckley

Image by Honeysuckle flowers by Beverly Buckley from Pixabay

What would happen if two souls were so intertwined that they could not escape each other? This is the concept of the Twin Flames. Escape is the wrong word … how can we understand this concept in a pragmatic, Exanian way, without all the romanticism?

Much like the world itself -- a product of our own will -- Twin Flames act as mirrors to each other. Our "perfect will" creates our "imperfect intentions." Our innermost being is played out by another for us to interact and intertwine with.

One flame wills the other flame into existence and vice versa via the totality of their own being. There is no sequence here -- it is a spontaneous act of creation to fulfill the needs of two compatible souls -- two compatible Waves.

Will is the re-orientation of the cosmos to reflect a new state -- like a shining light through a piece of fractured glass.

A Twin Flame is a deep yearning to see a reflection of ourselves -- the good, the bad, the ugly -- the hopes, the desires no matter how pure or carnal -- the light & the dark -- and to bring these back together. To learn how to exonerate the good and heal the bad and find out how to interlock these pieces and experience this union in every conceivable way.

To understand this concept properly, though, requires a great deal of spiritual prerequisites.

Before that, I want to share the receipt I received from getting some groceries today, just before writing this post, after I had been thinking about this topic a lot.

The total is $26.62 -- a perfect mirror. Still believe in "coincidence?"

So, first, some fundamentals.


Borrowed Power

Today's lesson: do not borrow power. What does this mean?

Borrowing ideas without the proper contemplation upon them will cause widespread devastation in your life -- including your mind, body and soul. This is because, as beings, we are too complicated to be "patched" in this fashion. The soul cannot be mended with bandaids. You cannot manage your consciousness with an "off the shelf" solution and expect good results. Imagine replacing the tire on a car with a bicycle wheel, or a block of wood -- or imagine you build the foundation of your house out of cheap plastic rather than stone -- this is what you are doing when you take any ideas from outside of you and begin to utilize them without proper incorporation.

No one can avoid the contemplation that is required to digest new information or experiences, but humanity has always looked for outside saviors or answers. There is always another replacement altar to explain the circumstances of our existence and these altars just become more and more convoluted and ridiculous as time wears on. These altars all have the same things in common: they go to great lengths to deny our essence as gods. If "gods" is too strong a term for you (the "fear" of being a god is an example of altar you might be holding onto that allows you the perception of being a mere human), perhaps you would be more comfortable with "creator", or "artist", or "author."

A universal feature of Nonsense is that it is life or qualia-denying in some fashion. It destroys or avoids life through literal nonsense or "garbage." It begins with qualia denial -- deception -- of one's experience and from there begins to concoct an abyss of stories for which it uses as a cloak to hide. These stories will lead you nowhere except in circles. In the worst cases, it can become a Stockholm's Syndrome, where the denial is systematized or made normal, thus creating highly customized "prisons" which generally are also infectious (they create adherents / assimilate / imprison others.)

It is critical to deny stories which you do not wish to have power over you and understand why they do not have power over