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Personal

This category contains content that is more personal than is appropriate for the main feed but may still be useful to some readers.

A little on Starseeds

Posted on by macil

Okay, this is going to be a way different type of article.

I love stones & crystals and I am using them also as an excuse to research & talk about Starseeds a little bit -- so I am going to gather up some information as a way of educating both myself and you reader!

This article will not address the characteristics of different Starseeds, as it is a subject matter with surprising depth and that just isn't the style of this website. I am also not versed enough to talk about it off the cuff.

If you would like to know more about the Starseeds, I suggest this article -->

https://thebalancedblonde.com/2022/11/09/all-starseed-types-lets-get-into-it/

These are the most well-known Starseed origins :

Pleiadian, Taygetan, Sirian, Arcturian, Andromedan, Orion, Mintaken, Lemurian, Venusian, Lyran, Lightworkers, Indigo/Crystal/Rainbow children

Do I consider myself a Starseed?

My life has been bizarre, unusual and even at times orchestrated, like I have a mission or purpose to fulfill. I have had severe and unusual problems connecting to other people, like I did not understand just basic concepts that seemed natural to them. I don't mean just being shy, but like I did not comprehend sort of natural impulses or behaviors.

I was often ostracized, misunderstood and bullied because of this as if there was something dysfunctional with me, even though that is never how I felt. I had a strong sense of self even as a child and for most of the time I just felt like I didn't belong.

I did not have a strong concept of "separation." I always thought everyone was suppose to be your friend and that everyone had compassion for each other. I was ridiculed for this attitude all the time. I had to learn the hard way over and over that isn't how it works here "on Earth"

My life has been numerous, countless examples that are similar or more nuanced than this that have

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My Little Fox

Posted on by macil

This is a tale about a man lost in a labyrinth of endless mind, imagination and shadow with no way out.

You bound into my life with a dazzling fire and illuminated the dark place that I dwelt. I chased after your fire, terrified to leave the place I reluctantly called home for so long. I did not know what I was doing and I did not care. I felt foolish and embarrassed.

I was mesmerized by your light. I could not pull away. You brought such vibrancy to the world that I could see, if only to stumble. I was not afraid to walk when you were near.

You banished the gloom and my heart warmed, my eyes softened and I could feel again. But I did not know what to do with it.

I saw how my darkness let you rest from your own nature. You could curl up in my lap -- just for a little while. You could set aside your cleverness, ease your paws and just be without needing to be anywhere. But you were always drawn back to where you came and I grieved every time you left.

You came to visit me again and again and we celebrated this odd partnership that seemed to come out of nowhere that we could not define.

But ultimately it was a dance we could not keep up.

You wanted me to keep up with you, but I feared the forest. I leapt, and ran and jumped, but I did not have your grace. I fell over and over again. And I was afraid of your fire. I needed you to cool your flames for just a little while so I could hold your hand -- but you did not know how.

But we tried anyway. Over and over. And we burned each other. And even though it burned, it seemed right. Every wound was secretly a blessing.

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Where do we start?

Posted on by macil

Edit from the future: Substitute all references of website to ‘blog.’

Another edit from the future: start with the Lexicon.

That is a good question and I have never found a satisfactory answer. Because there is none. There is no starting place.

Even naming this website was always insufficient. What one word could I use to encompass everything I want to put here?

I didn’t realize how apt the name Ex Inanis was to become.

In Latin, it would be “From Nothing.“ Nothing could also be void, or the inane, or nonsense. We will talk a lot about “nonsense.” This name is perfect in more ways than I can count but it took awhile for me to see it. It will be explained in time.

The knowledge of this website cannot be taken in isolation. It exists as a whole and each piece relies on another piece. You may personally derive benefits from any one piece in isolation, but there are concepts that only become apparent and realized when the whole is held, or when certain pieces come together.

Let’s try working from a high level and work our way down.

What is this website about?

Aside from the introductions, more concisely, this website is a love letter ; it is how to manual on how to become whole ; a manual that you don’t need when you are a whole. It is a “bible” for “learning freedom.”

And I have achieved that wholeness for brief times in my life and whenever it happens, I lose all my reasons for creating this website. So it never happens. So inevitably I fall off the wagon and I have to find my way back again.

This website is a love letter to me that I intend to carry with me for all time. To never forget again.

I am going to show you “how to correct your universe when you fuck it up.”

One of the rules of this website I am making from the start is that I will not refrain from posting just because it is imperfect, or a “work in progress.” In this Context, there isn’t enough time to get stuck in revision hell. I find that in all past incarnations where I have attempted this work, I get bogged down in perfectionism and obsessions with tone. That will not happen this time ; what

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Migration

Posted on by macil
Hi, my name is Macil and I have discovered the joys of blogging. After about just a week of writing, I realized the platform I was using wasn’t going to work out. Well, more like I was tired of doing web design, hate Wordpress and wanted something a little more feature complete. So I’m going to give Tumblr a whirl. It looks cool. And compatible. And not isolated in some corner of nowhere. Nonsense should hate that. Might have some trouble doing what I want with it, but I am hoping the social features are worth it – so I’ll just start somewhere and see how it goes. I am back-dating this post to be the first post whilst I migrate over the last week or so.