Mastery

I created a demon where I became afraid of my own sovereignty.

Sovereignty has been a mostly natural thing for me until the events of this year.

“Dysfunctional sovereignty” turns into “dysfunctional acceptance.”

Dysfunctional acceptance starts breaking down unity and seeing the Context as apart from you, which allows emotions & thoughts to begin to victimize you. Without sovereignty, you cannot say “no” and it seems you must just keep enduring.

No does not mean that we hide or run from ourselves. No does not mean we do not accept what is present in our “identity field.” No does not mean we do not allow what is there (like a child throwing a tantrum.)

No means to recognize that the thought, emotion, energy is no longer desired. It means that we stop renewing it within our field. It is not so much throwing out the furniture, but moving the house so the furniture is left behind. If we try to move the furniture, we are misunderstanding the furniture is being created from us. This means carefully “deciding” – using our inner-eye to create the energy matrix we wish to reside within (your identity/personhood).

I became afraid to say no – to choose – because I was afraid I was using “too much sovereignty” and creating a state of resistance / endurance. But what I was actually afraid of was fixation. I was confusing fixation with acceptance. The universe is too simplistic. It doesn’t understand “remove this thing”, it just understands “this thing” and so thinks you want more of that thing.

Its kind of stupid. And irritating. So we have to restructure how we approach things to “act with omission”, or “fake it until you make it.” I prefer to retain some arrogance in this process, so the thing you are releasing is “beneath you”, like an intruder that doesn’t belong there. Not having confidence, I find, makes things much harder on yourself. Your mileage may vary.

I’ve tried the “love it away” approach and it doesn’t work for me – it feels like a denial of the discontent, the hatred, or other negative energies which are present when we want to make a change. We are suppose to “be whole” and this does not mean pretending the other side of the spectrum isn’t there or influencing our decisions. This denial becomes a larger denial of self

I want to talk about “higher self” and the “expansion” of consciousness.

This is a concept prevalent in New Age philosophies and derivatives. Most New Age literature depicts the Higher Self as a guiding force. The Higher Self is what introduces obstacles and challenges into your life to “expand your consciousness.” There are endless articles which base their assertions on this expansion concept as justifications or explanations for the how / why of the human condition.

In most cases, we are meant to believe that the Higher Self has its own consciousness, or that we even agreed to a contract or “plan” before incarnating on Earth. Believers of soul contracts and plans, I’m sure, would agree that the plan is intended to be adaptable (to allow for free will, they will argue) but to guide you to a certain conclusion.

I have lots of problems with this.

New Age also teaches a couple of important concepts and that is the idea of separation and/or unity. This article is not intended to visit those particular topics but the simplistic idea of unity is the idea that we and the universe are are all connected.

But is the concept of Higher Self compatible with unity? I contend that it is not. It introduces a separation of yourself. Opponents will argue there is “ego”, which we want to shed and then there is what the Higher Self intends, which we want to follow.

As I often say, ego is too often used to just label everything you don’t like about yourself – or your Wave.

All of these different layers just introduces separation. You “are” your Higher Self. There is no divide. Needing to divide yourself this way is just a crutch to getting you to trust your heart, or yourself. You need to “speak” with your Higher Self rather than just knowing it immediately.

The very fact that you can make a decision means you have an “ego.” The ego is the limitations that allow for the perception of the self, or the “I AM.”

To shed your ego 100% would be to cease to exist. This serves no one, especially not Source/God.

It would be more useful to think your entire personality matrix / identity has no consciousness at all and that “you” are simply a manager of its energy. Managing this energy is how life is experienced.

I’ve been coming back into old realizations. I remember these revelations from years ago that got shuffled into some dark corner or swept under the rug somehow. (edit: I don’t think I was prepared to hold onto them until now.)

Once again, we ask: What is Ex Inanis?

I had thought Ex Inanis was a kind of philosophy – a way to navigate this world of ours. I am realizing this is not quite right.

Ex Inanis is (primarily) an attempt to describe the local universe (Context). There is knowledge in Ex Inanis that is “outside scope” (metaphysical) which has been critical but improperly integrated. This knowledge also concerns “how to live” (philosophy) and I should have separated these concerns better. For readers, this is still muddled, but for me it is enough of a note for now.

Most of this work began out of a desire to create a holistic metaphysical system for a fictional universe. This led me down a deep, deep rabbit hole. As I tried to design an “ideal” metaphysical system, I had to answer question after question: How do we create eternity? How do we account for infinity? What is the role of death? How do we retain free will? What is the source of morality? And so on.

As I answered more of these questions, I seemed to create a contrast of two worlds. The ideal world and the actual world.

The aspects of Ex Inanis I developed to “help navigate” are misguided. They are founded in the belief that the local universe is a place I wish to reside and so I have been attempting to force a square peg into a round hole.

As of late, I have been feeling like “Ex Inanis” was not needed anymore. I have been attempting to discover the root of this feeling. I think it resides in the recognition that while Ex Inanis has been great at describing how this place functions (mostly still in private notes that trickle to this blog), there are “no acceptable solutions.”

Or rather, it has (so far) failed to produce guidance on a desirable or meaningful life.

For most of my life, I attempted to leverage the knowledge of knowing “how the game worked.” I dug deep inside, just looking for that for that first step that called to me.

Why did everything have so much resistance?

When you begin to codify and “make sacred” appearances, as modern science pretends to do, you are assimilating Nonsense – you are describing the machine of the appearance, or the temporary nature of the world. It will always be as such, because as soon as it is perceived, it is no longer. You have changed and thus the appearance has changed, because it arises from within you.

You are creating the idea of a machine, because you insist on creating this procedural understanding of the universe. You are removing all the mystery of the universe for the need to know the outcome.

This is the birth of physicalism, which is synonymous with determinism because it needs to account for “every atom” leaving no room for will – no room for potential. This is the nature of separation and death (amnesia.) It is the obsessive fixation on detail.

Your “DNA” is a glimpse of you that is already incomplete, because your DNA has already become the “perfect” representation of what you are in this moment. No one can change your DNA but you. Your DNA is just a tiny echo that is you – like trying to see a house on Mars without a telescope.

You commit a terrible “sin” when you put physical rules “before you” and make them your masters. You have begun to worship the dream-construction “before God” or “before the understanding of the greater truth/universe” or “before your sovereign authority.”

“Real science” is the exploration of consciousness – real science is “philosophy.” “Fake science” is the “physical rules” that are created to “explain your experience.” These are based in fear and the need to control the appearances, which is a trick.

The need for explanation simply creates more explanations to fulfill the need. The deepening of the abyss.

The seemingly set-in-stone physical rules of this world work as they do because they are created by an evolving collective consensus.

All virtues are discovered from outside the construct of appearances. All virtues are discovered between, or within, or through acts of contemplation & faith. Because these are a kind of “absolute truth” – the common/universal truths that keep conscious “coherent.”

Truth is not “H2O is water” – that is a an example of the “rule of the construct”, or the collective. Did electricity exist before it was “conceived?” What is “discovery” except an obsession given

A post inspired by Mr T. over at Substack –> https://talknet.substack.com/p/growing-sense-of-disconnection-in

Doubt is existentialism and this leads to unnecessary explorations (gaps/delays) and failure (or “unnecessary feedback.”)

This disconnection is a “remembering how to be.”

Some humans are figuring out their “reasons for being.” But that doesn’t resonate with me and it isn’t from a lack of trying.

I think I am learning how to “be without reason.”

This is as much about not needing a reason to be, as it is about being cautious of reason itself. What reasoning do we need to be happy? Answer: none at all.

My heart is asking me to step back from everything and just laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. I no longer care what The Other thinks about this.

There is a parasite feeding on the beauty/love of the world. I call it Nonsense ; I like to view it as a kind of critical malfunction in consciousness – an anomaly, because it is more empowering, but we can accept it as a phenomenon that occurs as “consciousness rises.” Same difference.

The parasite/Nonsense might be a dark group of controllers, aliens, or just a pattern of low/animalistic/dark gestalt consciousness that has been tolerated for too long. It doesn’t matter whether it is “within me” or the collective. It all connected and manifests the same.

To engage in this world is to empower this darkness – because it enters into our consciousness and comes alive through us. Hearing the “reason” is to argue with it and let it in. We see it as us and act through it.

Reason would have made Gandalf abandon his integrity and use the Ring of Power because he thought he could do good with it.

To reap the fruits of this material world, the darkness has to be appeased to lesser or greater degrees. Humans have rationalized and compromised with these affairs so long there exists entire paradigms and systems of belief to naturalize the behavior.

The Matrix is just one giant sacrificial altar to this darkness.

Humans are being relieved of every single one of these systems and this is what you are witnessing. This is a “physical byproduct” as consciousness expands.

The “good guys” glorify sacrifice & hard work to appease this dark consciousness as a compromise to find a misguided

I want to talk about time. Not quite the metaphysical concept of time, but more the Earth-Human sense of time.

We are meant to believe that the world goes through a 24-hour period. This is meant to be “helpful” by breaking down the day into units of measurement to which we can create schedules, coordinate events or meetings, measure phenomenon and so on.

This is a lie.

Time is a prison for your mind. This artificial construct has been gently lowered upon the natural world as a way of holding you hostage. This block of time – 24 hours – creates a fixation to which disconnects you from your inner-being and introduces a concept of yesterday & tomorrow which ensures your imprisonment.

Tell me, what does a “second” feel like? A “minute”? An “hour”? Describe how it “feels.”

Like a frog being boiled, you become adjusted to how fast or slow time flows based on your own expectation. But practically everyone has their own evidence of this being a lie in their own lives.

When your mind is no longer fixated on time, time becomes fluid. Time can seem to fly or seem to go on forever. Every person has experienced this, whether for good or ill. Whenever you are in “flow”, you become a master of time.

You have been indoctrinated into thinking that there is a function outside of you which marches on independent on this “sensation of time” but there isn’t. You are the one “making it go fast” or “making it go slow.”

Time is relative? Indeed. You have no idea.

When you truly apprehend this, then you understand how pervasive and how sinister the 24-hour lie is. You are like butter scrapped over too much bread, being stretched and stretched and stretched.

But Macil, the natural world follows this “24 hour” period!

You can divide “Now” into as many pieces as you like. Do you think we could reorganize our time-keeping to function on 36 hours? Or 2 hours? Sure we could. It is just a matter of perspective and doing the “verisimilitude” work to put it all together.

You don’t think we could create longer or shorter calendars? Of course we could. Human history has all kinds of calendars.

We could organize our perceptions of ourselves and our world however we like. You don’t even need to subscribe to subjective idealism

I haven’t posted too much as of late because I haven’t felt the need. That is a good thing, but I also am being nudged to keep Ex Inanis alive and kicking this time. I know it helps.

I’ve been coming back into a sense of being with myself rather than in a semi-panic where I feel compelled to micromanage all the details. I have to remember that details = lowering of perspective = fixation = density = time = enduring = Nonsense.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, schedules, todos and lists tend to be an indicator of stepping “out of being.” You are becoming too fixated on appearances and reorganizing your expectations into them. You are not trusting or allowing. This disconnects us from inner guidance / higher insight.

If you do this for too long, your mind starts slipping back into binary/polarity thinking which slips further into all-out survival thinking, which then starts creating excessive thought & emotion. This is by design, because the thought & emotion is a guidance mechanism to get you to “lift out.”

This isn’t to say that we can’t make use of schedules, todos and list, but to exercise caution in how we use them. They should never become informative – they should never become so heavy that they become their own problems.

A caveat: If you are already “out of being”, then some schedules, todos and list can be very helpful for “finding yourself” again, because if you are unable to connect to your being, then you can “substitute heart” through a commitment to a ritual or schedule. This is a “faking it until you make it” trick to finding that heart-centered place again.

This not for everyone, or most people, because the world feeds on time (what a surprise.) If you want to “break away”, though, this is where you start.

NTS: I’ll have to write a post about actual time – like how clocks are everywhere – and how this is part of the containment mechanism.

I wanted to put a little reminder here to myself about something I have noticed many times before. My thoughts & decision making process in the mornings and nights sucks. I try to pressure myself way too much in the morning and my mind wants to remove all the surprise from tomorrow at night time by making plans, leading to

Okay, time for a bit of crazy.

I am becoming increasingly convinced that all thought arises from the Context. That is, there is not a single thought that arises from your inner being at all.

The thoughts that seem benevolent or subservient — which we are more prone to claiming as “ours” – are no different than negative ones, or even neutral ones. They are simply the most attractive thoughts that exist within the Context that you are entertaining.

“Reasoning” is just unpacking these thoughts, or digging out more of a kind – also from Context. What is “attractive” is you using certain aspects of Wave as informative (you are getting on the stage, instead of being in the audience).

Thoughts are a complete distraction that keeps you locked in creating time.

Yes, I am becoming increasingly convinced that our Wave is completely invisible outside of how it is “implied” back to us from Context. But this also feels incomplete / somewhat obvious. If we go looking “within” we are just digging deeper into the Context that isn’t us at all. Well, it IS, but it is because the Wave “contains” it and we are “seeing through it.”

We can recognize that in a roundabout way the thoughts are ours, because the Wave was our choice and because the Context derives from Wave, but what do we do when we wish to “rise above” the Context? In theory, we would want to allow the Context to “pass.”

Our personal Wave is just sculpted from interaction with the Context. It seems to be “on display” all the time.

But there is no “within” if we just “are” – we are “outside of Wave” – which makes sense within the greater framework of Ex Inanis. When you are at your best, you are surfing the Wave across Context.

What does this mean? Thoughts are like a smell, or a taste. They are just another “sense” that we feel from the Context.

This would seem to make them almost useless even in comparison to physical senses. No – not useless – but it takes practice to start recognizing them as part of the world itself and not yourself, so as to not let them influence your Authentic/Heart-decisions.

I feel like somehow I’ve been at this realization before, but nonetheless