Alright, I am going to attempt to make a dent in this topic.
Imagine you are carrying a backpack. This backpack contains everything you need in order to live (have an experience — qualia.) You can only hold so much inside of it (buffer.) If you put too much inside of it, it weighs you down (makes you feel burdened) and slows down your experience. It reduces how far you can travel and makes it more burdensome to get there.
If you keep your backpack light, you have a spring in your step and you can get to where you want to go quicker. It is also easier for you to see where you going, or reach places that you give you good vantage points.
“Where you want to go” are your intentions (destination) and will.
The world within which you are traveling can be considered to be your soul — a library of all of your eternal experiences — plus the souls (and their libraries) of all other co-creators, that are offering you “suggestions” on how to add, remove or use resources from your backpack.
Let us imagine two different travelers.
One traveler fills their backpack with goods they have purchased from town. All the best and finest adventuring gear. The finest rations. There is no scenario that this traveler is unprepared to deal with. Their backpack is heavy and overburdened, but they are “ready for anything!”
The other traveler purchases some essentials, but plans to forage or live off the land — to hunt — in other words — this traveler intends to fill their backpack with what they find along the way.
Let us consider the fundamental intentions hidden underneath both of these travelers.
The first traveler though well-meaning is carrying a backpack full of fear & dependencies. He does not trust himself to forage, or hunt, but relies on the goods and products of others. And he feels so unprepared for the journey ahead, he feels the need to fill his backpack up with every possible tool he might need. He does not trust himself to create what he needs, or has no faith in his skill or intellect to find solutions to his problems.
The second traveler is full of love & freedom, because he has to travel with a great deal of confidence in his ability to acquire what he needs, despite all unknowns that he may face. He has little dependence on others, so does not become trapped or stuck if those resources are not available to him.
As both of these travelers embark, their experiences will be remarkably different. These hidden dispositions form the fundamental basis of the reality each traveler will produce as the move forward.
While the first traveler may have initial advantages, he is playing a short-game. He is gambling that there will always be the resources needed from others to forge ahead — that he will have the resources or the towns to restock. He never bothers to build a relationship to himself — to discover his limits, his fears, his motivations, or to celebrate triumphs or see how he handles the grief of his losses.
The second traveler may have a harder time to start, he is learning skills that make him less dependent on not just others, but from the burdens of his own limitations. He is gaining a closer relationship to himself, his soul and the soul’s of others and to the natural world /universe / life (God.) He is expanding both his intimacy and vulnerability which requires them to be exposed and challenged on the regular, which are strengths, not weaknesses.
Now, how does this all relate to identities & gender?
In this example, we are imagining travelers who are putting things like rations, water, ropes, pots & pans and other things in their backpacks — but the truth is that you are also putting in beliefs of about yourself, meanings, definitions, the relationships between things — the subtle — and more. The ladder of these “weigh nothing.” You can put in as much of the subtle as you wish, as long as it makes sense to you and is well-organized.
Those who understand that this is not a physical world, but a spiritual one, thus have a vested interest in obtaining as much as the ladder (the spiritual “stuff”) as possible, because it allows them more leeway, more latitude, faster movement and more range.
Those who have not yet dedicated themselves to a spiritual pursuit will find it difficult to believe how reality will begin to support and embrace you like a hidden lover because they are still mired in the back and forth ping-pong game “dualism” of the physical world where it seems like they have total dependence. They do not understand miracles are real, that timeline jumps are real, that reality can bend and contort just like a dream.
The first traveler sees the world as something to conquer or fear, the second traveler sees the world through the lens of excitement and wonderment.
When you understand that you are an immortal being, you quickly come to understand that you want to expend every waking moment honing, refining and finding the truth about yourself because this is what you will carry with you forever from life to life until you start to break through the “continuum” threshold where you have gained enough knowledge and wisdom to become an undying eternal traveler.
You reader have likely already lived hundreds of lives. In a strictly conventional sense, this is evidenced in your DNA which contains a glimpse of your ancestors before you, which really are variants of yourself.
The gender — and by that I mean the genitalia that you possess at this time — is a function of your destiny or fate. As described in this article — that is the “thrust” or “force” (pun not intended) of the totality of your soul, not an overriding of your free will but more like you are caught in the current of a river that you can never escape but can still paddle. It is the burden of your askashic totality — your library — that you must learn how to organize and navigate without becoming addled, confused or drunk.
You have “chosen” this gender from before you have incarnated not as a singular, discrete decision but an umbrella of life choices prior to your birth.
However, this may not mean what you think it means.
Masculine and feminine are not genitalia but are descriptions of energetic or intentional qualities inherent to the fabric of creation.
Masculine qualities tend to be more aggressive, active, controlling, constructive and boundary denying. This correlates with its physical representation which is phallic.
Feminine qualities tend to be more docile, peaceful, receptive, withering and boundary affirming. This correlates with its physical representation which is yonic.
In “higher realms”, these attributes are disposable. That is, you are not the avatar — you are the player. “In but not of” as a popular figure would say. You can play a female or male character, or anything in between, as you desire.
Earth is not (yet) a higher realm. OK? We’re here to change that.
Well, some of us are, I am beginning to suspect. The humans needed a little help.
You (and I) have not achieved a level of mastery where you can consider yourself as “playing a game.” You are in a spiritual war defining the essence of your soul right now and this will continue for as long as it takes before you “actualize” or “graduate.” You might call that ascension, or enlightenment, or salvation — it is all the same — and described by spiritualists, religion and philosophers for thousands of years.
Your graduation is the threshold I mentioned above with the travelers — where you become so light that you “pop above” the noise and are able to retain your continuum.
There is much controversy around sexual and gender issues in the world because most people do not understand the reasons they have incarnated on Earth.
You will have to learn where you fall on this spectrum, but the following is the truth as I understand it and this may trigger some folks. So content warning.
If you feel as if you possess more masculine qualities, you are here to learn to embody more feminine qualities — if you feel as if you possess more feminine qualities, you are here to learn to embody more masculine qualities. You can be a man and possess more feminine attributes (as I do), or be a woman and possess more masculine attributes. You can also be a man who is manly, or a woman who is feminine — and the truth still stands. You are here to learn to find a balance between the two.
This is the same challenge of self-actualization that mankind has faced for all time and gender issues are not specific to its requirements. All philosophy deals with the balance and synthesis of the consciousness which includes concepts that can be described as masculine or feminine. It is just another part of the dualism game that we want to escape (into non-polarity, or in this context, “non-binary“.)
I will not go over all the words out there or talk about pronouns and other nuance because I wish to keep this more in broad strokes.
The term queer for example, can represent a consciousness that is liberating itself from the idea that it is “in” the world because it recognizes that it is not its sex. It is something much more than the body it inhabits.
Nonetheless, rejection of our sex can represent a reactionary response and thus an abdication or loss of will. The trick is to both understand we are not our own sex, yet exalt the bodies (love!) we find ourselves within. The body knows when you love it and when you hate it and will react accordingly (cause distortion), which will be the subject of health topics in the future.
The variety of sexual orientations also are symptomatic of consciousness in general beginning to incorporate higher levels of intimacy with the self and with others as society begins to tolerate less fear/toxicity and embody more love or tolerance. We might even call that “being civilized.”
The explosion of discussion about gender, sexuality and sexual expression is not society falling into debauchery and chaos so much as it is the cyclical nature of the Earth game that is for the purpose of ascension. We are witnessing each person’s unique journey as they thrive, or succumb, to the pressure of the “game.” As levels of synthesis rise, different expressions integrate in different ways. This is can be beautiful and terrifying and everything inbetween.
Dysphoria is the symptom — the FEELING — of you needing to integrate whatever “opposing” qualities you do not possess. If you are REACTIVE about this, you are in what I call abdication, or are leaking or losing sovereignty. You experience the dysphoria when you are DENYING the qualities that your soul wants to integrate and are being impressed upon you from your environment/world which results in confusion, discomfort and “dysphoric” state.
Imagine you prefer roles where you play as a man. Imagine the universe calls you up for a role as a woman and you agree. You get on stage (you incarnate, or are born), but can’t remember accepting the casting call at all (amnesia, which we have talked about in other articles and is an important concept here.) But instead of becoming the best actor of your role, you spend a lot of time trying to return to what is familiar (your preference as a man.) You are stuck in existentialism. This is what causes dysphoria.
Your job is to remember the call from the universe and be the best damn actor you can be, because it shows the universe you are ready to accept more roles of any gender or non-gender in more realms. If you break down into existentialism whenever you incarnate, you will continue to have the the dualism game — man/woman — good/evil — binary — imposed on you. Aka, density or fixation or lower realms, aka, the universe will not give you a more versatile job until you demonstrate better levels of mastery.
None of us are alone in the collective pressures that are exerted upon all life on Earth and you are under constant energetic bombardment from yourself, from others, from the “astrological” — to learn lessons — to ascend. You can consider Earth like a pressure cooker that ramps up as you become more advanced. It will push you more and more to integrate, balance and synthesize as an actualized individual — including how you feel about your own sex — until you figure it out or die.
Integration itself is difficult enough, but even more difficult when we are at odds with our own gender. This conflict likely arises more in older souls because of the higher level of challenge it represents and because it will push you to higher levels of expression (less density/fixation.) For example, I have not realized until recent years just how many of my own struggles were deeply sexual in nature because of my unique life circumstances and unique childhood traumas that obscured clarity of the problem from me as something other than what it was. So I spent a long time spinning my wheels on unrelated issues.
In fact, I spent about 20 years figuring it out, bouncing from one philosophy, and life mistake after another until my Year of Hell.
I see that there is an excruciating amount of judgement, condemnation from all sides in the political world and why I so often stay as far away as possible from the fighting. I do believe I am being called to change this position, so I am starting to address some of these controversial topics that I know I will need to answer.
We are collectively witnessing consciousness ascending in action even when it is ugly and brutal.
If all of this spiritual work was easy, you would already be in HEAVEN, or some appropriately customized higher realm of your choosing. As a unique expression of life, no one is capable of doing this integration process for you because the backpack you carry is totally unique to you & your journey. As I described in Success & Pain, overcoming boundaries always involves overcoming discomfort of some kind.
We are all being taught how we are not our genders — not to forcibly change it but to release it altogether — which allows you to enjoy it for what it is to its fullest potential no matter what you choose to embody, or find yourself within when life is given to you.
Let us remind ourselves of UNITY again.
UNITY is the unification of all five senses, your imagination “space”, your thinking “space”, your relationships to yourself, to words, to definitions, all the things themselves, Others — it is the ALL OF YOUR EXPERIENCE including the whole wide world (or your perception of it) whether it is in the 20 feet around you, or beyond the edges of the horizon.
To use myself as an example, I am a man who was born with extremely feminine qualities. I was bullied severely in school. I also had something happen to me that further distorted my sexual nature (which I am not quite prepared to share on this blog) that I did not discover until recent years.
I have had a long, arduous journey of learning to become more active, assertive and confident despite strongly wanting to remain as I always was. Despite lacking the tools of a man inherently because I was more disposed to feminine qualities, I was still expected to perform more as a man because that was outward appearance and the body I found myself within.
Life is hard enough when we are not at war with ourselves within. It is excruciating when there is an internal battle going on in our head that no one can see that we are judged about all the time that seems to have little cultural recognition. And those judgements are never about the actual battle we are having upstairs which we can never quite convey or express because it seems to us as such an inexplicable mismatch of demands internal (our minds) & external (our bodies.)
There is never enough time when dealing with others while also dealing with the responsibilities of life, but the judgements from others that we become subject to as our own conflict causes us problems in our lives exacerbates and misplaces the actual problem (which is actualization) causing even more frustration and confusion which causes us to want to run, break down, or lash out at others.
But as harsh as it sounds, we do this to ourselves on purpose. Whether you decide to believe this is malicious, or as a byproduct of the raising of consciousness is your decision.
You will invite others to “wound” and “victimize” you until you stop it and stand up for yourself. This does not mean hurting or judging others, or yourself by denying or destroying the reality around you (that I want to remind you comes from within). Being unbalanced within means your life will be unbalanced without. This is just the nature of how reality works, because you are a god-creator and must learn to control what you put out into the world.
The primary danger that I have observed is, like most humans, we can become preoccupied with labels, or the “outer world” and become reactive about. When this happens, we have allowed the external world dominion over ourselves and conflict is the domain of Nonsense. Conflict, of course, being the favorite tool of those with a nefarious mind. It is this small place of fixation/focus (conflict) that can be used to distract, divide, and conquer (more separation, descension into lower realms.)
Many folks run from these introspective challenges rather than do the painful shadow work — and there are also forces upon the Earth who are preying upon this struggle in actualization, which causes further problems. As I mentioned, I have had direct contact with some of these darker elements as a child, causing traumas that I have only recently begun to understand.
All of my friends also had these problems too. Almost every one of them was sexually abused in some fashion — attesting to the rampant problems affecting kids and early development. I did not understand how deeply it affected them, just as it had affected me, until much later.
What “agenda” could sexual identities have?
Identity might be considered the contents of your backpack, because it is what allows you have an experience — to continue living. That which controls this identity, controls your backpack and thus controls you.
The more associated you become with the contents of your backpack — the more dependent you are, or the less you are able to change the contents of that backpack or rely on the natural world (God/life/Source/etc.) — the more you are a pawn on someone else’s board.
You may begin to understand how these topics are intrinsically intertwined with trafficking and child abuse and how someone with a mind could suppress actualization as a means of wielding power.
Remember the first traveler above? Imagine his backpack is full of brand products, designer clothes, he is dependent on half a dozen prescriptions. His pots and pans don’t last, he has to buy new clothes and shoes all the time because he can’t sew and so on — he becomes a slave to the world/his own soul. Imagine how “heavy” he is.
As a reminder, as you become more fixated or “dense”, it will become harder for you to maintain your awareness, or memory (there is that darn amnesia and whole “life purpose” thing again). Your backpack is becoming heavy and weighing you down. This will also begin to limit your range of emotions, feelings or even your able to perceive or think. Reaching or seeing beyond distant horizons becomes much harder to do and the world will seem smaller and you will be “convinced” it resembles a prison, even if the bars are made of paper.
Imagine how someone with an evil mind might use this knowledge to keep you dull and without your memories.
If you are very enamored with the problem of your gender / gender identity for example, you are enmeshed in a conflict that increases your fixation/density because much to the opposite of your intention to liberate yourself by affirming the gender you “feel” — you have actually chained yourself to an identity (your gender!)
By ASSERTING rather than RELEASING your gender altogether, you have INCREASED YOUR GRIP (no pun intended again!) — increased fear — increased fixation/density. You have added MORE WEIGHT to the backpack than take it out. This causes more dualism and more separation. Ironic, isn’t it? And devilish. It is by design to teach you where “you” truly reside, which is not “in the game” at all.
You can believe all this is nefarious, like those Prison Planet people, but you are always better off believing in positive intentions rather than negative ones — in my humble opinion. You empower yourself when you think you are learning and growing rather than being victimized and trapped.
Keeping you in conflict serves the agenda of the physical world and those with a vested interest in dominating or controlling the physical world.
However, if you are able to exalt or become comfortable with whatever body you find yourself in, in whatever world, or whatever dream you wind up in, whether you are a man, woman, goblin, dragon — you are becoming more like the player of a video game, who is free from all attachment to its character. This creates a lightness of being just like playing a game and it is precisely this lightness that brings you to greater planes of experience and greater freedom.
The other day, I was told that lottery machines now require identity checks in order to buy tickets (for readers in the United States). This is a great example of how there are forces at work attempting to gradually boil society like a frog by getting them to buy into deeper and deeper levels of “identities” that are outside of your control and in someone else’s control.
This is also example of how the system is dying, because it is becoming less able to give out “free manifestation” without taxation (why do you think they want your identity? hint, it involves the month of April) as a means of enticement/enslavement to it, like the pheromones of a fly trap.
He who controls the “identities” controls the souls. But if your identity is not within the world at all, then who controls you? No one but you and God.
Your driver’s license and birth certificate are other examples of seemingly external forces wanting to impose an identity upon you that can be indirectly used like a proxy to control you. But it isn’t outside of you and it can’t control you. It is a clever illusion. You are the one who decides.
Credit scores are another example. A way to rate or judge how well you integrate into “the system.” A barometer for the “elite” to assess the worthiness of renting out your own power back to you.
Watch the Golden Web which you can find in my Reference section.
For Dungeons & Dragons enthusiasts, imagine you had to consult with the Wizards of the Coast Identity Bureau for approval whenever you generated a new character before you could play (live!) it. That is the “goal” of having you so fixated on fighting over your masculine & feminine qualities that you are happily to declare it on legal documents and ritualistically (which programs you) reinforce it everyday through the use of cards and other devices to gradually draw you deeper into the system. You will literally fight (conflict) to hold onto the identities that are “groomed” into you which do not free you, but further imprison you — because you are the creator of this dream, dear reader.
You do not need labels or pronouns to be free. You are beyond these labels, even as they assist you in your journey to becoming more than what you appear to be.
Pronouns for example can cause conflict not just with others who don’t understand the problem but within yourself. As the pronouns challenge conventional norms, the challenge becomes a place of contention or conflict that is often exploited. Your unconscious, or spirit (visible on the 4D plane in dreams, btw), may also become conflicted or confused if it becomes too mired in this disjunction between bodily appearances, conventional expectations and your own internal needs to assert what you know about yourself. Your job is to find a congruence between all three of these aspects that causes no conflict whatsoever.
Controversy is just another means by which we show ourselves what we need to see in order to gain a new perspective on how to achieve harmony and congruence.
As always, though, triggering and reacting are always signs that you are abdicating your throne and giving your power away, no matter what words you use to describe yourself. All sides of the political spectrum are furiously triggering each other and this is pleasing to those in power and intended. Giving your power away is precisely what vampires, narcissists, and anyone with a mind for domination desires the most.
A trick to identifying your ego is that it wants to remain “linear” and hates change. So always be careful about becoming too complacent.
This article is long enough, I think, so to conclude …
I do not consider myself a “man” — I am the player behind the scene — though I take it as a unique challenge to embody the highest concepts of what it means to be a man and experience life as a man because it was what was given to me by God / life / Source / universe — and that is a wonderful thing. Gratitude. Shouldn’t we be excited at the idea of being able to experience different things rather than becoming despondent, or despair over what is — at this time — out of our control?
Be patient with each other, folks … I know I have not always been. There is room for both liberal and conservative and everything inbetween.
Don’t be afraid to take the space you need. The world is built to deny you this space — which disrupts both your ability to actualize and manifest (achieve goals/dreams) — at every turn through every day demands and how society is structured — paychecks, 9-5s, debt, credit cards, and more. Take your space even if you you know other people might not understand or you have to be really rude about it.
What is the collective stage of the world right now?
The world right now is learning a dire lesson in boundaries not as a means of tyranny or suppression but because some level of boundaries are required in order for life to express & exist and these boundaries have been abused both in global and individual levels.
A reminder that your own life is a microcosm for the macrocosm of the entire world. The whole world will reflect the same issues you struggle with inside, except “dispersed” and in billions of different expressions. It is your choice to embody more love or conflict/fear and it will be shown back to you.
Your job right now is to examine what boundaries you value and to find the courage and strength to stand up for them. Some people might not like this but that is the nature of boundaries. You may find — in time — that as you assert your boundaries, those who were once upset or irritated come to respect or appreciate having their own boundaries revealed so they may also grow into their best expressions. This may be an uncomfortable and painful process, however, as you must remain in your own personal sovereignty.
Remember, we are all connected and without these boundaries, we can affect each other regardless of time, space and distance.
We will get there. Love and light.
