“God” spoke to me again, this time through a close friend who told me about confidence.
I’ve realized I’ve struggled with confidence all my life. Confidence of all kinds. My thinking mind felt like it needed “answers” before it could have confidence.
I’ve been here before.
The ironic thing about confidence is that we already have what we need. We already have everything we need to know and our challenges will always match our life at the time. When we accept this, we find confidence, even if we are NOT confident. Even if you “wanted more than you have”, you know that this is a Nonsense concept.
Confidence is a choice ; as in, the choice itself. Confidence needs no conditions. I don’t think it even matters whether you think that choice is right or wrong, or neither, as long as the choice is made.
Perhaps that is obvious to many, as the alternative is uncertainty or doubt, because a path hasn’t been picked. But some of us have glorified this place of non-decision – or at least I have – and all this creates is “more time.”
Our waking life is a quilt, or menagerie, or a cauldron of our choices all intersecting. Some of these intersections don’t work, some do, some just are. Confidence doesn’t derive from these choices ; confidence is the acceptance of these choices and it is the choice of “What’s next?”
Confidence is a plan, but it isn’t. Its a path you pick that’s “good enough” for now, because you trust yourself and just going to see where this goes.
So much wisdom and esoteric stuff is a farce. I realize the more and more I post to this blog, Ex Inanis is about the same synthesis or harmony of mind that the ancients describe and that all philosophers and spiritualists describe over and over and over.
Ex Inanis is my own expression of it and anytime we listen to another person – it is their expression of it, even if they aren’t a philosopher. Their own life stories are just more parables of the truth. You can’t unsee at after a point
The fundamental truth is always the same. It is the 3 blind men and the elephant (look it up.)
It isn’t like we don’t understand this seminal / unspoken wisdom – this wordless resonance of truth – it is like we need to reinterpret them for ourselves. But why? A good question. This is the source of our non-confidence.
We don’t need to surrender our authority to philosophers, or ancients, or spiritualists to understand the truth they are describing. Our heart hears it ; we can hear it there. We can trust our hearts. So, where does this non-confidence in our ability to grasp truth come from?
We get so caught up in words and meanings, attempting to make bridges and build connections. We keep building Towers of Babel and the universe/God/etc. keeps striking them down, because we’re missing the point.
The words and understandings will never be perfect. They aren’t describing phenomenon because all phenomenon is consciousness ; they’re just futility grasping at the truth we all desire.
Relationships aren’t built on words, or the material world. They are built on patience, faith and above all compassion. That’s all you need. You have to learn to see beyond the words and have confidence.
The magic happens with or without us. It happens without us when we resist, or doubt, or choose our expression to be Nonsense.
Free will is reaction, yet it is also participation – acceptance / allowance – the resistance chokes up the dream, causes a clog / suffering (Nonsense) ; a dragging of time to endure.
Fear is the wrench in the machine. Fear shows us everywhere the “endurance” is; fear is a kind of sludge, slowing things down. It was the repeated choice of fear that we are recognizing and deciding to choose better.
The world and ourselves are already one. We do not need to create special rituals or superhuman states of mind. This just demonstrates we are not trusting ourselves.
As much as I am loathe to admit, it is easier to understand that the “physical” is what it is without feeling separated by it ; this is much more conducive to the harmonic mind than attempting to rewrite it, just because we understand it is more consciousness than anything material.
We can grasp that it is derived from consciousness, but it doesn’t change its nature ; its truth is its own existence, or our own participation in it.
Rewriting it just means you don’t trust your own engine of creation. This is a kind of warping of the self to begin with. Being in that harmony is much more conducive to moving you towards some kind of“non physicalism” ; imperative even.
We only have the options in front of us. We can try to create new options through mind tricks, meditation, rituals … but these are things we think we need to do because we think our minds are not whole, or in need of fixing. We are rejecting what is already perfect ; we are creating a “non harmonic mind” instead of staying in center (confidence.)
it is a trick of Nonsense to create what isn’t there ; this just creates enduring ; the enduring creates all manners of Nonsense in doubt, confusion, etc. ; what was coming to you was already coming to you when you made the realization.
Centering is much harder to do when we are in suffering, but even in suffering we are where we are because we brought ourselves there ; the way out is exactly the same – acceptance/allowance, faith and persistence. We can try to dig out a mote of confidence in taking ownership of the suffering and continuing to make decisions ; not make “endurance” (fear.)
Once the realization is made, you can’t go back – but you can drag it out.
All decisions lead you to where you need to go. In this we find the confidence to “just go!”