To continue the theme of the last post, when you ask the question: “What do you want?” don’t limit this to the material world.
You can ask for anything, including knowledge (any kind), confidence, motivation, focus, drive, being better with people … there is nothing that is off limits. You can even construct your own custom packages. You can get very specific or creative. You can put one desire into other, or add your own boundaries.
Authenticity will guide you there, no matter how bizarre. It may require a lot of work, but it will never lie to you.
This is why visualizing the life you want is so often repeated in manifestation resources, but it is very easy to get fixated on the physical elements and forget both the “doing” and the subtle.
If you are having trouble finding the material/qualia place you want, then simply change your intentions for a little while. Change the intention to: “What is blocking me? What do I need to learn? What do I need to release?“ or, perhaps get super meta – “What question do I need to ask?”
Don’t just keep stubbornly fantasying all the while resisting the changes the universe is trying to give you. Nonsense LOVES for you to reject the very things you asked for. You also have to allow.
You will be guided to your destination, as long you follow the Decide, Faith and Show Up process. I may also have to amend this to: “Decide, Know/Faith, Show Up & Allow.”
When I started on this journey, I answered the question of “What do you want?” with “freedom.” Or perhaps “world domination.” But these are all the same concepts: self-mastery.
This may have began as a childish fantasy about ruling over the world, but it transformed into a much higher wisdom of being free from experience ; or free *to* experience ; it is the heart of Ex Inanis, or “from nothing.” “Christ consciousness”, Nirvana, Heaven … fearlessness.
And I have been led on exactly that journey. I was thrown into the deep end of the metaphysical, esoteric and occult. There is no rabbit hole I didn’t crawl into.
And so here is the “warning” part.
Your every command is realized. We are perfect creators, but woefully imperfect in seeing what we have created (because of what I call The Uncertainty.)
I had no interest in material things: I wanted to dabble in the affair of gods. Hubris & complacency. Instead of creating a world to live in, I created a world to observe (and see how I was changing it). This is how powerful manifestation is.
But I was not a participant. I was more like a puppetmaster. I became a kind of, I dunno … lich.
You can create a “bubble” that forces the “out there” to bend around you, like Neo dodging bullets (I must have died a hundred times), but it is a dreary existence.
You can render The Other into lifeless dolls, because you’ve removed all of their autonomy and life with your own fears / judgments. You didn’t “allow” being or couldn’t embody it in yourself, so you annihilated it from existence. Hm, I wonder how many ways that could be physically represented. Is there anything like that in our world right now?
This is the power you are fucking with. Don’t believe me? Well, you will have to climb out of your own abyss.
Once again, the title of this blog is apt: “FROM NOTHING”, or the deliverance from nothing. I created a world of “nothing” to insulate me from the “everything.” Ex Inanis exists as much as a warning as a personal liberation.
Some of my other answers to: “What do you want?” have been: “a magical world ; a world not governed by physics ; a supernatural world.” Who thinks in cars, money or careers? Such paltry ambition.
Grand ambitions I think are possible, but we can never know just how much work we need to do ; we just have to assume – or have faith – and never stray.
I have been living in a kind of self-imposed isolation because I delved too deep. This journey of freedom I think ends in the same place: a desert (and a battle with a Balrog).
You will reach a plateu. You will have all the answers. All that is left is the practice – which requires a leap of faith.
The reason it is a desert is because the desert only ends when we decide that it does.
And there are only two exits out of the desert: We can follow our heart (no matter where it is leading), or we can go back and re-learn the same lessons a different way and repeat ad nauseum (return to the desert to face the choice again). The only way to change the heart is to satisfy it (or become dead to it). Refuse and you will gradually dissolve into nothing via Nonsense (entropy.)
