To continue somewhat with the last post, mastery is really about turning the tight rope into a platform, where thoughts begin to calm and quiet.
This post will posit more questions than answers, because I am doing some major re-visioning in myself.
What I want to revisit, though, is the origin of thoughts. There seems to be several types of thoughts.
Reaction Thoughts – thoughts that arise in reaction to (perceived) “external” events.
Random / Unbidden Thoughts – thoughts that seem to have no particular origin yet still arrive in “language form.”
Ambient thoughts – Similar to unbidden thoughts, seem to “bubble up” when we relax, meditate, sleep – it seems like random observation of ourselves (even forgotten or long dormant aspects of ourselves.)
Chosen Thoughts – Seemingly restricted, or filtered, by the Wave, these are thoughts we seem to be able to “will” into being ; like picking items off a shelf. Self-talk, planning, “abusing imagination space” (sorry, future post) are examples of this.
But in effect, these are “all the same.”
If we assume that thoughts are a kind of “translation” of ourselves – energy – then the language is a device we created to give structure to energetic patterns / vibrations / etc. that we are able to feel / see / so on.
If we believe that all thought originates from within, then the mechanism of how certain thoughts come about is more of a usurpation / automation of will. That is, in theory, we allowed certain thoughts to come to us “automatically” because it was useful at some point – but it has become a shackle – a cacophony which we have entire physical & spiritual practices to deal with. What the hell? No one thinks this the least suspicious? Why not just shut down these robots?
I have been having serious doubts about a lot of things lately.
Because of Unity (the understanding of no inside/outside), recent events and The Uncertainty, I can’t help but begin to doubt even the origin of certain thoughts. If we accept there is an X-Factor of Otherness or Outsideness, whether this is an automation of our own consciousness, or “true beings”, then once we understand “we are not in the brain”, then even thoughts themselves – just as other people appear to us – could be foreign in origin.
In this context, we do not use the word “foreign” to abdicate responsibility or reject that they are “there”, but to indicate unexpected or autonomous aspects of the Wave, like the rising of the sun or the moon. This is basic wisdom – observing thoughts and letting them pass and whatnot – and not what I am trying to convey.
We want to question the very origin. What is keeping the factory going to begin with? We know we can retool the factory to produce different thoughts, but can we change the product altogether? Instead of thoughts, can it produce feelings? Can it change ‘blue’ to ‘red’? Can we shut it down and just interpret the “raw” universe without language? Or are we mistaken about the factory altogether and there is another origin?
When we see ourselves truly as the observer or the “I AM” that is often used in these discussions, then we cannot believe that even thought itself is of “us” but must be a choice – across the entire spectrum, like choosing to wear red or blue. As I said before, we stamp reality with our observations – yet we are still having trouble understanding how many filters we have on those observations.
We are stamping with a whole lot of useless baggage.
I have been returning to the concept of Dysfunctional Sovereignty over and over in the last few weeks. That an excess of free will is a trap of Nonsense. I find that I am now often irritated when someone blithely reveres free will in total abandonment of compassion – as I now realize there is a “lie” of free will that has been beaten into us. This has been an atomic bomb in my paradigm. I do believe free will is inviolate – but the free will we have been taught is a farce ; a distraction to lead us astray. There is something more going on here.
Free will is being used as a catch-all scapegoat. Nonsense is having a field day.
Compassion is a fundamental just as free will is ; “free will” may be the observing agent, but compassion is the connection to everything that lets it even work.
Raw free will would just be random chaos that would inevitably organize into the basics of order. Raw free will cannot be hoisted up onto an altar above all other things.
If a child puts their hand in a fire, you may allow them to do it once so they know it is hot. But what if the child keeps putting their hands in the fire? Do you stop them or do you just say: ‘That’s free will.’
Why, even, does the fire burn as it does? Clearly we can easily conceive of realities, as we do in dreams, we fire does not burn so. So what has possessed us to occupy this place where there is such a visceral and linear experience?
An even slightly conscious being does not choose suffering. Even animals do not choose suffering – they will attempt to escape at all costs. Only a neurotic dysfunctional mind being would continue to choose suffering as a means of enlightenment, much less create entire paradigms and systems to justify it.
No experience can be greater than any other – otherwise it destroys all free will. If any experience were “more valid” than another, then this would create a One True Path (entropy box), meaning the total eradication of choice (choice would become an illusion in service to the One True Path.)
This means suffering is a choice. It is one experience among myriad. If we recognize suffering is a choice, then either we are fools to keep choosing it (doesn’t matter if this is a result of conditioning, whether we are young souls, or anything else), or there are factors we haven’t yet considered.
The Uncertainty is a powerful force here that could keep us in loops of suffering, yet there is still something more here.
Our world has “too many choices.“ A paradise reality would be a reality of willfully chosen boundaries ; not the denial that suffering exists, but simply the choice not to indulge in it. If reality operates as we believe it does, we should already be living in paradise. “Manifestation” does not take that long to “revise reality.”
Something has gone awry.
The world has many choices which are not good for us. How can that be when even the lowest life forms abhor suffering or avoid it? Suffering would be the quickest thing to be “washed out” of the individual & collective Wave because it would be universally apprehended as undesirable. The Context / collective gestalt / world would very rapidly create a less dense space, because the aversion of suffering is so primal already. So what is going on here?
It is almost as if there is a concentrated effort to keep suffering as part of the individual and collective Wave. I once believed that this was just an individual journey of obtaining higher consciousness, as that could neatly explain a lot, but I am having doubts. I think this obsessive focus on introspection is a trap of Nonsense / part of the “dark gestalt” and whatever physical forms that manifest in humans.
We can accept, honor and release certain thoughts, but now, more than ever, I realize we should be careful to identify with them. This isn’t a matter of trust, because if the understanding of “us” as the observer – that this is the origin of free will – then we must accept our entire Wave, including the thoughts that arise there, are “not us” or are passing.
We often think of our head space as sacred or private, but is this so? What is “head space” except another arbitrary boundary we have been using to navigate this reality? It is just a function we have interjected into our decision making / rules for observation. It is an illusion.
I am called back once again to the story of Babel, where we have all been addled with language. Do we need to “think” without “thinking”? Is this the advent of telepathy?
We can practice removing this “head space” – diminish the thinking apparatus – I think this moves us closer to true freedom, when we can make choices “without identity” – we can choose freely within the Wave and not be anchored to even what we thought were private (false identity) spaces.
I can see there is still much unpacking within me. I see the irony in wanting to dispel overthinking while writing posts like this one, or how the entire work of Ex Inanis came about in the first place. I feel like I am intentionally trying to overload the system to prove that it is garbage. When it runs out of answers to give, you know you have “won.”
Don’t become an addict of thinking.