I’ve been coming back into old realizations. I remember these revelations from years ago that got shuffled into some dark corner or swept under the rug somehow. (edit: I don’t think I was prepared to hold onto them until now.)
Once again, we ask: What is Ex Inanis?
I had thought Ex Inanis was a kind of philosophy – a way to navigate this world of ours. I am realizing this is not quite right.
Ex Inanis is (primarily) an attempt to describe the local universe (Context). There is knowledge in Ex Inanis that is “outside scope” (metaphysical) which has been critical but improperly integrated. This knowledge also concerns “how to live” (philosophy) and I should have separated these concerns better. For readers, this is still muddled, but for me it is enough of a note for now.
Most of this work began out of a desire to create a holistic metaphysical system for a fictional universe. This led me down a deep, deep rabbit hole. As I tried to design an “ideal” metaphysical system, I had to answer question after question: How do we create eternity? How do we account for infinity? What is the role of death? How do we retain free will? What is the source of morality? And so on.
As I answered more of these questions, I seemed to create a contrast of two worlds. The ideal world and the actual world.
The aspects of Ex Inanis I developed to “help navigate” are misguided. They are founded in the belief that the local universe is a place I wish to reside and so I have been attempting to force a square peg into a round hole.
As of late, I have been feeling like “Ex Inanis” was not needed anymore. I have been attempting to discover the root of this feeling. I think it resides in the recognition that while Ex Inanis has been great at describing how this place functions (mostly still in private notes that trickle to this blog), there are “no acceptable solutions.”
Or rather, it has (so far) failed to produce guidance on a desirable or meaningful life.
For most of my life, I attempted to leverage the knowledge of knowing “how the game worked.” I dug deep inside, just looking for that for that first step that called to me.
Why did everything have so much resistance? This didn’t seem normal for most people. I felt like I was chained to a wall. I dived into the idea that this was a willpower or discipline problem, yet these just created suffering and seemed to glorify endurance and pride.
I could never find a way to apply all this ancient wisdom. People want to achieve things, build things, have careers, accumulate material stuff, families, see the world … Why? Where is the freedom in any of that? I tried to make ANYTHING resonate.
If there was “freedom” in the journey, then why was there never a path that made sense? Even Frodo knew he had to get to Mordor.
I became guilty because it felt like I was letting down loved ones who just wanted to see me happy. I wanted to be happy, but how could I be happy by saying that I “wanted nothing”? They wouldn’t understand that. I didn’t understand that.
My dreams were never of mundane things or places. I tried to find an “ideal” mundane life to strive towards – imagined owning islands, jets, whole empires – the ideal mate – making great discoveries – or just some humble simple existence – and it all seemed meaningless. My heart did not sing for it.
I concluded something was wrong with me, so I set out to find it and fix it. But all those explorations just kept leading back to the same place. My heart seemed to only allow me to do this work. It would NOT RELENT.
Ex Inanis understands how this “game” works quite well. The mistake I have made is not having the confidence in my heart. And this has lead to the understanding about “being.”
You must have a complete, thorough, and total disconnection with the world to unlock the concept of being. It is such a subtle, invisible thing. Even as I write this, I feel my confidence is a little shaky. But it is growing.
It is OKAY if you do not feel disconnected from the world. That means your destiny lies elsewhere and you should follow it with zeal. If you don’t need to ask questions, feel blessed! This post is for all of us who WANT TO GO HOME.
What is BEING?
Being is the concept of this blog – “from nothing.” It is needing no basis from which to “be.” It is in the audience, but not on the stage. It is the “solution” to the problem.
BEING is about ACCEPTANCE, ALLOWANCE, TRUST, FAITH and SURRENDER. Accept your life/the world, trust your heart, allow your life to unfold, have faith in “being” (or what is “yet to be”), surrender to the unfolding (let it do so how it likes).
We could see “believing” as a trick – BE – LEAVE – or “leaving being.” If you have to “be something”, you are missing the concept of BEING altogether.
I have realized that only the “ego” wants results & answers. If you are looking for results or answers, you are OUT OF BEING, with your face planted in the mud – the “Earth.” You have your head up the elephant’s ass (see wise men and elephant).
I am suspecting that cohesion itself is only relevant within the Earth/Human Context. The game does everything in its power to make you feel “eternally linear.” It molds our perceptions so that it seems like it marches forever in a “straight path.” This is to make you keep “choosing time.”
Cohesion is “done” as soon as the choice is made, because Cohesion is just breaking down “being” into a spectrum, instead of an “on switch.” Anything less would be to be choosing extra steps.
In the “Prime” Context, the world would work like you’d expect – it would not be a place where you would doubt, or need to come up with many “systems” and “reasons” to explain it. You would KNOW.
But that is not the case here, is it? We are obsessed with “reason.” We are obsessed with existentialism.
My heart has always deeply loved the Adventures of Baron Munchausen and this scene in particular. The world has forgotten how to dream. I may as well be the Baron in this scene.
In this place, there seems to be a negativity bias. Why would a universe with a positive slant be any less viable? Can you imagine a more effortless life? Of course you can.
But so what if there was a positive bias – “everything that can go right, does go right” – you might be better off, but you still wouldn’t be free. You’d just be playing the other half of the game until you ended up right back here – wanting to understand freedom.
The nature of this place seems to confuse or deceive our true nature. It does not matter whether this was by design or accident. Further granularity is not needed, simply the acknowledgment of this recurring theme.
“BEING” is how this game is eradicated. Being “erases” the game by sitting in your true nature / throne by pouring “infinity/potential” into the “field” that produces the game. As more and more of the field is filled with this potential, it breaks down.
We come into this world with a “personality.” Whether this personality is the accumulation of hundreds of lives, a parameter of the game, or something we ourselves designed, it doesn’t matter. Remember: answering questions is a trap. The personality, like the world itself, is just a lie – a distraction to make you create time.
This game has ONE PURPOSE AND ONE ALONE (whether it is purposeful or not) – to teach you the concept of BEING. We don’t need to answer why this is, because once again that is a detour. This game will rain temptation & absurdity down upon you.
The Nonsense will use every tool at its disposal to get you to “drag time.” And YOU WILL. You will drag time until you become SO SICK of it that you start asking the questions you need to ask to learn “being.” Until you are prepared to STAND IN YOUR TRUTH, how does one learn how to “be” like we are in a dream? How do we learn how to be “fearless”?
This game is a mockery of the Prime universe not for good or evil, but because that is just the nature of the game. We don’t need an answer or a reason. The answers and reasons are INFINITE. As soon as we go looking for one, we’ve lost – we’re “out of being.” We’re losing the game.
If you become fixated or content with some affair of your life, you are “losing” because you have latched into the illusion. You are staring too deeply down the microscope. This game is designed to not let you lose and it will shake your life apart to get you to let go – to look up. You will wonder what the hell happened. How often has life seemed good – seemed to “settle down” – for some random wrecking ball to come in?
This will happen so often that you will feel compelled to construct philosophies, religions and identities to JUSTIFY, GLORIFY and PRAISE this process as a normal state of affairs. You will do everything, including sabotaging yourself, rather than step into sovereignty, because this kind of sovereignty requires a complete abandonment of reason.
You would rather lead CRUSADES across human time & space attempting to establish a harmony or paradise that can NEVER BE rather than face these fears that prevent your being.
This is “by design.”
This will go on until you are utterly exhausted of every Earth/Human temptation/feature. You will NO LONGER CARE about petty world concerns – you will yearn only for FREEDOM from this cycle. You will prefer DEATH to continuing this cycle.
Do not expect anyone to understand this feeling – especially those you love, because you will feel you want to “be better” for them. But “being better” assumes you weren’t whole to begin with, which is just another broken concept that holds you back.
When you apprehend the nature of these things, you will feel like you are absolutely insane – comprehending how all the rules work and having ZERO desire to participate. You will wonder WHAT IS WRONG with you? But you will find no answers, because there is nothing wrong with you. You are functionally perfectly.
There’s something wrong with me, I better keep testing!
You will wonder WHAT IS WRONG with all these people? How can they spend their dream this way? But that is a trap. Those people exist to ENSARE YOUR MIND.
How can we re-organize ourselves to REMOVE ALL DOUBT?
This is why my heart never allowed me to have any deeper attachments. My heart was always giving me what I truly wanted.
You are breaching into that FEARLESS mind. The birth of the “DREAM WORLD.”
Acting in any other manner – stepping outside of that relentless neutrality – especially a destructive manner thinking this is somehow righteous – means you are “OUT OF BEING” again because you are lost in appearances. You are exploring/dragging time. You are lost in the ephemeral thinking it is real, meaning you have become fixated/dense again. The service to others (which is also a service to self) is what ensures this never happens.
As compassion & decency are fundamental to higher consciousness, it becomes natural – emergent – to assist others. Riding your own wave leads you to helping others ride theirs.
I will try to revisit some of these closing thoughts in the future as they are just now reaching a level of clarity within my paradigm. But for now, I need to end this post.
There is no sense is speculating about the future whilst the game is still running. To repeat the last post, there is nothing to do but “be” – you ARE the mirror that unravels this riddle.
More posts to follow, of course, as I unpack this box I had put in storage.