I created a demon where I became afraid of my own sovereignty.
Sovereignty has been a mostly natural thing for me until the events of this year.
“Dysfunctional sovereignty” turns into “dysfunctional acceptance.”
Dysfunctional acceptance starts breaking down unity and seeing the Context as apart from you, which allows emotions & thoughts to begin to victimize you. Without sovereignty, you cannot say “no” and it seems you must just keep enduring.
No does not mean that we hide or run from ourselves. No does not mean we do not accept what is present in our “identity field.” No does not mean we do not allow what is there (like a child throwing a tantrum.)
No means to recognize that the thought, emotion, energy is no longer desired. It means that we stop renewing it within our field. It is not so much throwing out the furniture, but moving the house so the furniture is left behind. If we try to move the furniture, we are misunderstanding the furniture is being created from us. This means carefully “deciding” – using our inner-eye to create the energy matrix we wish to reside within (your identity/personhood).
I became afraid to say no – to choose – because I was afraid I was using “too much sovereignty” and creating a state of resistance / endurance. But what I was actually afraid of was fixation. I was confusing fixation with acceptance. The universe is too simplistic. It doesn’t understand “remove this thing”, it just understands “this thing” and so thinks you want more of that thing.
Its kind of stupid. And irritating. So we have to restructure how we approach things to “act with omission”, or “fake it until you make it.” I prefer to retain some arrogance in this process, so the thing you are releasing is “beneath you”, like an intruder that doesn’t belong there. Not having confidence, I find, makes things much harder on yourself. Your mileage may vary.
I’ve tried the “love it away” approach and it doesn’t work for me – it feels like a denial of the discontent, the hatred, or other negative energies which are present when we want to make a change. We are suppose to “be whole” and this does not mean pretending the other side of the spectrum isn’t there or influencing our decisions. This denial becomes a larger denial of self (Wave / identity field), which creates a resistance/endurance and makes it that much harder to change.
Once again we find ourselves plunging a knife into the concept of polarity. The negative spectrum contains agents of change. The positive spectrum contains the elements of stability. Love is the neutral state, that allows use of all sides of the spectrum – not their denial. As always, it is more holistic to discard any ideas of polarity to begin with and not polarize anything as “good” or “bad.” The universe just isn’t that simple and all pieces have important roles to play. Discarding parts of the toolkit because they seem “negative” makes us lesser gods.
This is just another example of the failure of the Human/Earth collective, because the whole collective is aligned away from how the actual universe does/should function. We have to work a hundred times harder because the default ways of thinking across the board are dysfunctional.