Month:

I haven’t posted too much as of late because I haven’t felt the need. That is a good thing, but I also am being nudged to keep Ex Inanis alive and kicking this time. I know it helps. I’ve been coming back into a sense of being with myself rather than in a semi-panic where I feel compelled to micromanage all the details. I have to remember that details = lowering of perspective = fixation = density = time = enduring = Nonsense. If I haven’t mentioned it before, schedules, todos and lists tend to be an indicator of stepping “out of being.” You are becoming too fixated on appearances and reorganizing your expectations into them. You are not trusting or allowing. This disconnects us from inner guidance / higher insight. If you do this for too long, your mind starts slipping back into binary/polarity thinking which slips further into all-out survival thinking, which then starts creating excessive thought & emotion. This is by design, because the thought & emotion is a guidance mechanism to get you to “lift out.” This isn’t to say that we can’t make use of schedules, todos and list, but to exercise caution in how we use them. They should never become informative – they should never become so heavy that they become their own problems. A caveat: If you are already “out of being”, then some schedules, todos and list can be very helpful for “finding yourself” again, because if you are unable to connect to your being, then you can “substitute heart” through a commitment to a ritual or schedule. This is a “faking it until you make it” trick to finding that heart-centered place again. This not for everyone, or most people, because the world feeds on time (what a surprise.) If you want to “break away”, though, this is where you start. NTS: I’ll have to write a post about actual time – like how clocks are everywhere – and how this is part of the containment mechanism. I wanted to put a little reminder here to myself about something I have noticed many times before. My thoughts & decision making process in the mornings and nights sucks. I try to pressure myself way too much in the morning and my mind wants to remove all the surprise from tomorrow at night time by making plans, leading to

Okay, time for a bit of crazy. I am becoming increasingly convinced that all thought arises from the Context. That is, there is not a single thought that arises from your inner being at all. The thoughts that seem benevolent or subservient — which we are more prone to claiming as “ours” – are no different than negative ones, or even neutral ones. They are simply the most attractive thoughts that exist within the Context that you are entertaining. “Reasoning” is just unpacking these thoughts, or digging out more of a kind – also from Context. What is “attractive” is you using certain aspects of Wave as informative (you are getting on the stage, instead of being in the audience). Thoughts are a complete distraction that keeps you locked in creating time. Yes, I am becoming increasingly convinced that our Wave is completely invisible outside of how it is “implied” back to us from Context. But this also feels incomplete / somewhat obvious. If we go looking “within” we are just digging deeper into the Context that isn’t us at all. Well, it IS, but it is because the Wave “contains” it and we are “seeing through it.” We can recognize that in a roundabout way the thoughts are ours, because the Wave was our choice and because the Context derives from Wave, but what do we do when we wish to “rise above” the Context? In theory, we would want to allow the Context to “pass.” Our personal Wave is just sculpted from interaction with the Context. It seems to be “on display” all the time. But there is no “within” if we just “are” – we are “outside of Wave” – which makes sense within the greater framework of Ex Inanis. When you are at your best, you are surfing the Wave across Context. What does this mean? Thoughts are like a smell, or a taste. They are just another “sense” that we feel from the Context. This would seem to make them almost useless even in comparison to physical senses. No – not useless – but it takes practice to start recognizing them as part of the world itself and not yourself, so as to not let them influence your Authentic/Heart-decisions. I feel like somehow I’ve been at this realization before, but nonetheless