This post is going to be a little different. I’m going to talk about myself a bit. It will be a little more down-to-earth about the person behind the blog.

I do not like talking about myself. I find it self-aggrandizing and often conceited, but I understand that personal details sometimes help others to relate and I have some esoteric reasons I would like to explore for putting this out there. I know I have often found great relief in the personal stories of others, so I am trying to be more open in case it helps someone.

This post is an experiment to see if it reaches some of the folks I detect lurking in my energy or dreams. This post is for anyone submitting petitions and negotiations for admission into my realm, or sending intentional or unintentional projections (quote black magic unquote) whether through gossip, or through physical action or ritual.

I want to hopefully clear the air on some subject matter that seems to often reoccur.

First of all, yes, I feel attempts to summon me, or convince me to abandon my terms (lower my vibe or density) to allow others access to me. Yes, this is real, this is how the world works and yes, we are all learning how we are telepathic, how our thoughts and words are impacting other people not present in our five-sensory perception.

It is becoming clear to me on the origin of so many dreams. It is time we all elevate our awareness so that we can stay in our own lanes and not crash into each other. There is far too much blame and victimization going on.

I hope that this post help bring clarity to anyone who may have intentions for me and sort out the good actors from the misguided actors.

I have designed my mind as if it is ruled by a tyrannical overlord. I treat others as if they are also the ultimate overlords of their lives (and worlds) as well and so that is how I expect to be treated in return — kings respecting kings. I take full responsibility for everything that comes across my plate without exception including the unfolding of the world itself.

I have had to revise some of my outlooks quite significantly in the last couple of years. I no longer make excuses for people’s ignorance about what they are responsible for, but I always begin with the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. There are a lot of “kings” throwing stones and hiding their hands behind their backs, even if I do believe this is often unintentional.

I always begin with respect, compassion and tolerance when interacting with others. I attempt to conduct myself with others as if I am already living in Heaven or an Earthly utopia. However, I make no claims on being a saint or that I always succeed — just that I always make a best attempt. I inherently try to live by the philosophy of “leave them better than you found them.”

I have had to leave some connections recently behind because I felt they were becoming actually dangerous to focus on rebuilding my life. This ruffled some feathers in ways I never expected and revealed some sobering truths I never wanted to see. I mention this because sometimes we have to let people go that are not in our highest good and it can be hard.

When dealing with me, others will often see their own egos mirrored back to them as a byproduct of how I view the world. Others cannot dethrone or harm me through emotions or energetic disturbances as my kingdom is based in unyielding neutrality — like a black hole. I have oriented my entire way of thinking and viewing the world as a way of “removing the garbage” whether it is within myself or others. The garbage being “ego” or the delusion that you are the “ingredients” of your world.

Egos are triggered by calmness and serenity or “emptiness” as it is the ego that desires or yearns. I have been considered an agent provocateur, because I agitate other people’s “daemons” through my emptiness but I do nothing except remain in a quiet and peaceful state. So be it. I happily accept the role now whereas I was confused and lacked confidence about it before.

It is commonly thought in spiritual circles that significant differences in “vibes” will cause friction or irritation regardless of physical distance. I can’t help that. Go research toroidal fields if you want a physical explanation.

If I were a D&D (Dungeons & Dragons for you non-geeky types) alignment, it would be true neutral. I devour other alignments as an inherent nature. This does not mean I do not feel. It means I choose my feelings. It does not mean I do not desire or yearn or have an ego. It means I have cultivated the ego to be as quiet as possible.

If anyone who thinks this all — the website, myself, this article — sounds like too much woo woo, that is fine, but you are reading this for a reason. It is up to you discern what it is or what you are trying to show yourself. I am a hyper idealist and don’t believe in a “physical” world. It is going to get quite woo woo around here for most mundane or Earthly people.

I often receive gifts or other material enticements in the 4D/dream that are laden with ulterior motives, presumably hoping that this will create a bridge or opening to connect to me. In other words, trick me into investing into certain vibes, moods, states of minds, emotions to change the manifestation dynamics and create backdoors or openings for people to enter. Yes, I receive counter-intelligence, so coming at me with hidden agendas is not advisable.

I am an idealist. I despise materialism, but this doesn’t mean I don’t like nice things like the next person or can’t dress up to wine & dine. I will never be swayed by luxury or money. Material wealth is organic to the life that produces it. It is earned by one’s own spiritual strength, not “mined” from the Earth. It is not something that can be “offered” or used as leverage, as this is a fixation or abomination of thinking. God delivers what is correct to the scene at hand and is not something we can meddle in except by our prior cultivation.

I own a small business that provides for my needs for which I have made heavy sacrifices that many other people are unwilling to make. Chief amongst those sacrifices were social & romantic relationships in favor of hard work and routine mental, physical and spiritual work to overcome inner daemons inhibiting and restricting my success.

This wasn’t because I didn’t want more relationships but because there was no time for those things. I had to work not just on actual work, but managing my household while also dealing with all the mental blocks of being your own boss day-in and day-out. It didn’t help that I was largely socially inept when I started.

I have a unique approach in my industry that works for me and very little overhead that allows it to work. My connection to God, universe & life also gives me a unique spiritual perspective that provides advantages for living frugally most people don’t understand or would never choose because they are very enamored with physical or material desires or survival. Deprivation is a way of life for me.

I have lived alone & voluntarily celibate for almost 20 years (by contextual Earthly measure, I am in my early forties as of this writing) focusing on business and creating an optimized work-ethic that allows me to determine my own schedule and freedom. I value freedom far beyond what most people would consider normal.

My celibacy does not mean that I would not have liked to have a romantic partner here with me, or that I would not have preferred to go partying or meeting lots of sexual partners, but that I was unwilling to compromise my ideals or values to the point where even death was not a threat to maintaining them. I had this instilled into me from a very young age, like it was built-into me before birth.

I was also raised very conservative and while there is a lot about this mindset I value and continue to value, I had to deprogram a lot of suffocating & sexually repressive/shaming attributes that come with it. Note, I do not blame, but cherish the environment I was raised in.

And past the point of this post, I will no longer be disclosing or “updating” on whether my celibacy is still intact, as it is really no one’s business. I choose to share it today for others who may have felt judged about it themselves before, and it may give people a better idea of where I am coming from. I also think celibacy is undervalued in our hyper-sexualized culture and abstinence is OK too.

Guilt-tripping or shaming, particularly of the sexual kind, was something I had to overcome and no longer works on me. Anyone who would guilt or shame me for my choices doesn’t belong here. I believe all people come into our lives when it is organic and emergent, whether romantic or platonic. I would rather wait for the right people than invite more vampires or mismatches. I am not going to censor myself or lower myself for the sake of unnecessary connections.

That said, I have learned the hard way there are still people out there who view others as property that can be used like bargaining chips or as part of some twisted manipulation tactic or ego trip.

Anyone may notice that I use a lot of anime memes but I am no NEET or a closeted “weeb.” Be honest with your judgements. Cultural norms are often hiding places for ego. Perhaps the memes are just a trap for me to consume derision or mockery and quietly take your power from you. Or perhaps while I love anime and manga, they are not just hedonistic indulgences for me but highly suitable expressions of concepts and art that can be universally shared lacking in other censored and agenda-driven media.

I voluntarily take on challenges and trials of deprivation and pain all the time. I deny myself foods I like, I deny myself all manners of comforts, I often intentionally cause discomforts in order to implement and practice mind-over-matter, like cold-showers. I meditate to create states of serenity and harmony on the regular and this often requires imposing upon the mind or body until it stills, like soothing an animal in a cage.

Am I perfect? No. Do I sometimes make less than perfect decisions? Yes. That’s where persistence, faith and alchemy comes in.

I have not done this totally alone and have received help many times with which I am eternally grateful, but I am not going to undersell the incredible amounts of hard work I have invested or the challenges I have had to overcome. Help is also part of the scene that God/universe/life delivers and we have to be willing, open and humble to receiving it (and to be grateful and not waste it.) Accepting help has been a hard lesson for me because of a fierce desire to be independent and free.

I am grateful for my clients every day and all of my business opportunities. I sometimes stand in front of my refrigerator and just send it gratitude. I am grateful to God/universe/life who have given me the hard knocks as well as support I needed.

Gratitude is a way of life for me.

I used to eat terrible as a young man, but spent many years making changes so I might cure many physical problems. I do not believe in modern medicine or doctors (and other than in my Year of Hell where I got some pain medication– which didn’t work btw — I had not been to any medical establishment since my early 20s) and believe all health derives from our own consciousness and spiritual strength.

The body is an emanation. I believe modern medicine represents a kind of pillaging that solves problems with bandages and it is an antithesis to me. Suffering is a gift that allows us greater power.

I have been a pescitarian for awhile now. That means I eat seafood & fruits/veggies. I have gone through hundreds of diets and experiments to figure out my relationship to food and how to get here. I have been food poisoned dozens of times. I have dedicated a great deal of time to learning about vitamins, supplements and plants — which I hope to share at some point.

I am the happiest I have ever been on this diet. This is what I eat out of the garden I grew myself everyday:

Do I cheat my diet sometimes? Yes, but in a way that is within these constraints. I like dark beers and dark chocolate. I may be monk-like, but am not a monk and am not a stoic or prude. I strongly believe in vibrant expression of all kinds, because I love all forms of life.

I do laundry, cook all meals from scratch (I never use boxed meals — never — I consider the “middle” of the grocery store poisonous or asking for death), while simultaneously working my home business, working on secondary creative products like artwork & crafts, managing said garden and keeping my household clean both physically and spiritually. I dislike anything on my floors with a passion.

I also freaking recycle. And yes, I clean the containers.

Is it effortless? No. It requires constant practice and refinement to keep the edge sharp, especially when I don’t feel like it. It requires routine and discipline, which I often despise. I try to do it anyway.

Was I always this way? No. I was often lazy and too tired to do what needed to be done. I don’t blame others as fundamental absolute of my own philosophy. I have not always been perfect at this, but taking responsibility to the extremes that I do takes dedication and practice. Such aggressive ownership gives me more power and more peace, but also often at the cost of having relationships.

I may be reclusive, but I shower everyday — sometimes with a salt & baking soda foot-bath to detox — while I listen to music (Delerium is my go-to), burn incense and condition my hair. Yes, I’m a man and I condition my hair, because I care about my appearance.

I go for about a 1.2 mile jog every 2 to 3 days and it look a long time before digging trenches and ditches for my garden became easy. In fact, digging a trench to plant a garden is how my Year of Hell started. And I started jogging which saved me from almost daily crippling pain.

Do you know the most significant events of my life that I gave the greatest growth and evolution? Bankruptcy. Kidney stones. And betrayal.

I picked up every stone in my backyard to build a patio during my Year of Hell because I was in so much physical and mental pain that I could not focus on anything else. I learned a lot about alchemy that year.

And I have strong suspicions that there was something more spiritual going on that year from malicious co-creators.

I will continue to share my truth, pursue my life’s mission and build (meaningful) relationships regardless of all attempts to interfere or block me — even if such things are simply unconscious or self-imposed and the esoteric musings of this blog are just fiction or in error. There is a reason for my disclaimer.

I will not be deceived neither by positivity or negativity. I am well-versed on how either can be used to manipulate. I will alchemize and consume all incoming projections that are out of my alignment or service to life and further bolster my willful power upon the Earthly plane. Nom, nom, nom.

While I will not judge others for other family dynamics or sexual habits, I highly value the nuclear family concept. Sexual energy should be respected, revered and coveted like it is made of gold and it should always, absolutely, be equal.

To be clear, I do not judge anyone for their sexual choices or sexual past. Anyone who wants to understand me must well and truly understand that I consider yesterday like a dream that you selectively choose to keep or discard and tomorrow a choice that informs how to arrange your yesterdays. That said, intimacy is how we permit more or less influence of fellow co-creators.

In my opinion and at this time, we are here in this Earthly experience to elevate the collective to a higher realm.

I am extremely and painfully heterosexual. I can sense when someone is attempting to block my natural sensuality I feel for women whether on purpose or accident. That will sound really weird if you don’t understand how it felt like someone tried to invade me in 2022 and change fundamental things about my soul and someday I may write about it.

I also understand that we are not our genders or “avatars.” Nonetheless, I consider them to have significant meaning for “why we are here.” I will be writing more on the controversial topic of sexuality/sexual politics & gender identities in the future, but it is a very complicated topic that needs proper attention.

I aggressively protect my sexual energy (if 20 years of celibacy wasn’t a clue.) I have no interest in building superficial connections or handing out free passes to my sacred energy (I have had to do too much healing in this area to regress.) I am waiting for the right person and it is OK if others think that is old fashioned. They are are free to take a hike and will never know just how kinky I might be.

In conclusion, anyone with bad or deceptive intentions, please keep your flippers (projections) to yourself. If you cannot do that, you will feed me more power and your life will disintegrate as you fail to focus on what is important for yourself. I prefer the former as it is better for everyone, but am cool with dispensing lessons with the ladder. I am always eager to practice refining my alchemy.

You are in your own domain despite all illusions that you are mixed with others. You are free to litter and leave garbage in your own realm and I will continue to see when you attempt to trick me to clean it up.

No one can truly know why we make the decisions we make for our lives. It is not for you to judge. Judging others is God’s trap for collecting garbage (ego.) My decisions are certainly not for you to compete with, block, or derail out of ego.

For anyone with good and true intentions, I hope to one day meet you and work together. I am happy to interact with you in the 4D/dream and start on building a better world.

This is how I sleep, where I watch and always hope every night for peaceful and pleasant encounters, rather than having to avoid angry or deceitful people which seems to be the trend of the last few years as the world gets more crazy:

I still love everyone that is aware of me — which strangely seems like way too many people when I don’t market anything — but the time where others manifest off of me is done. Like done done. Like the turkey is burnt to ashes done. I reserve my alchemical protection for a select few now and no one will ever know who is receiving it. Everyone will be left with their own connection to God/universe to discover, build or find lacking, as it should be.

Wonderful reader — please go now in love & light — no matter where you fall on the spectrum. I don’t use the phrase much around here because I’ve become a bit jaded, but the older I get, the more I mean it and the more apropos it seems to be.