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Welcome to EX INANIS
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This website was created to serve as a catalyst for personal growth. It is an ADVENTURER’S LOGBOOK that I use as an excuse to fill up with content & experience.
My heart has always been drawn to the visage of the ADVENTURER as portrayed in roleplaying games, comics & animation. So much so that I endeavor to model my life after the ultimate expression of the adventurer — the renaissance man, the knight errant — always on the move, helping those in need, but valuing freedom among all else. A kind of self-contained world that is carried within.
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I have benefited so often from others sharing their experience that I feel compelled to do the same. It is time for to give back to the world as best, and often awkwardly, as I can. I hope you can benefit in some way, even if it is small, from the content I share here.
I have lived a largely reclusive life and have had to spend a great deal of time learning (and unlearning) about things that have held me back. I have uncovered some important secrets about the world that I work hard to clarify so that I may share them with others.
This website is my self-created MENTOR — a moving bridge from where I am leaving and where I am going. If you feel like you have been living in a world that is a little too small for you, then perhaps you found this website for a reason.
What are some essential things to expect from this website?
I consider the places of the physical world and dream world to be the same place, separated by own our expectations. The world derives first from within. There is no inside or outside, there just “is.” |
Our physical expression, including our bodies and the world itself, derive from consciousness first — we do not arise from our physical environment, but are one with it. |
I believe in the UNITY OF EXPERIENCE — that we are part of the the entire scene of the life we experience. I endeavor to live a life that is in congruence with this UNITY — where life arises ORGANICALLY without ARTIFICIALITY. |
We are all immortal beings creating greater expressions of life (you might say creating greater expressions of GOD, which is just fine.) |
We can inadvertently cause great damage to ourselves & our collective(s), which creates states of existentialism. |
We are more intimately intertwined that you can imagine and there are many layers of this reality that are obfuscated from you. |
A more enlightened world is possible, but it must arise within as one of both self & other — it cannot be imposed from the “outside.” |
The universe is not cyclical because it is moving towards a finale, but because it is an eternal moving window — a forever adventure. |
When I created this website, I did so to pull myself out of some dark circumstances. Since then, the concept has evolved and now I am moving away from heavy and dense philosophical and esoteric discussions that are suitable to a very small audience and hard to digest.
That brain bending content will always be part of my life and this website but will no longer be the face of it. Such content will be found under the Mastery section.
This site is broken down into categories.
Everything is a work in progress.
Fun | Fun, relaxing content. Pick this if you want to laugh, chill, or unwind. If I can transform stuff I like to do into interesting content to share, I will put it here. |
Artwork | I am an aspiring artist. This isn’t necessarily completed work, but a place I use to encourage me to practice. |
Life | Touching grass. Anything to do with the “real world” but from my lens. |
Shop | Stuff you might like. Or not. Your support is appreciated, regardless. |
You want more? Then there is one last place you can go …
Mastery
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The giant wooden doors creak closed behind you. You find yourself standing before a labyrinth of shelves, sprawling in all directions. These baroque bookcases covet dusty tomes, books, scrolls and haphazardly tied together parchments. Towering staircases are the only roads to their peaks, which tickle the edges of a vaulted ceiling high above. An old, musty scent caresses your senses and beckons you deeper inside.
Content warning. Secrets of the universe. Where most of my content is born. Primordial. Stuff you shouldn't know. Don't go here unless you are looking for serious answers about yourself or the world. This content is not meant to be consumed casually or without honest intention to work on yourself. There is a reason I am focusing on more digestible content.
Go here if you dare, otherwise check out some other content …
Leaving this here in case someone needs it.
* Squeak *
Feeling good.
Let’s get some historical records going in here and see where we are next year.
2-8-5 — I say, I haven’t aged a day.
A little on Starseeds
Okay, this is going to be a way different type of article.
I love stones & crystals and I am using them also as an excuse to research & talk about Starseeds a little bit — so I am going to gather up some information as a way of educating both myself and you reader!
This article will not address the characteristics of different Starseeds, as it is a subject matter with surprising depth and that just isn’t the style of this website. I am also not versed enough to talk about it off the cuff.
If you would like to know more about the Starseeds, I suggest this article –>
https://thebalancedblonde.com/2022/11/09/all-starseed-types-lets-get-into-it/
These are the most well-known Starseed origins :
Pleiadian, Taygetan, Sirian, Arcturian, Andromedan, Orion, Mintaken, Lemurian, Venusian, Lyran, Lightworkers, Indigo/Crystal/Rainbow children
Do I consider myself a Starseed?
My life has been bizarre, unusual and even at times orchestrated, like I have a mission or purpose to fulfill. I have had severe and unusual problems connecting to other people, like I did not understand just basic concepts that seemed natural to them. I don’t mean just being shy, but like I did not comprehend sort of natural impulses or behaviors.
I was often ostracized, misunderstood and bullied because of this as if there was something dysfunctional with me, even though that is never how I felt. I had a strong sense of self even as a child and for most of the time I just felt like I didn’t belong.
I did not have a strong concept of “separation.” I always thought everyone was suppose to be your friend and that everyone had compassion for each other. I was ridiculed for this attitude all the time. I had to learn the hard way over and over that isn’t how it works here “on Earth”
My life has been numerous, countless examples that are similar or more nuanced than this that have gradually led me to believe — hey, maybe it is possible I am not from here. I don’t need to be from some distant galaxy or dimension to explain my life, but it is fun to think about (and fun is something I always try to protect.)
I have never had a sense of belonging here. Ever. I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in. One might think that, even if I was just a human who has been here for a long time (many past lives or “DNA“), I would have had an easier time just being “normal” but was never the case.
I have had strong compulsions to help people, or “solve the Earth”, or heal pain & suffering to the point where it was often detrimental to me and self-sacrificial. And until recently, I never understood that my empathic abilities were so strong that it was like having a radio on full blast all the time. I thought that was just the normal state everyone dealt with. I was not able to distinguish between the channels, so I learned to be comfortable and “become one” with it.
Do you know the Welsh word “Hiraeth”? It means being homesick, or having sadness or grief, for a place that you cannot reach, or no longer exists.
noun
noun: hiraeth
- (especially in the context of Wales or Welsh culture) deep longing for something, especially one’s home.”I could not begin to put into words the hiraeth that the Welsh feel for the mountains and valleys of their homeland”
I was not like other children growing up and had a hyper awareness that they seemed to lack. We might attribute that to ancestry/DNA of being around the block a few times — but who is to say that a Starseed is not simply a particular classification of the same concept? A category of DNA?
When we begin to unify all of reality, then the universe becomes both larger & smaller — the boundaries are just arbitrary delimiters within ourselves.
If I had to pick a Starseed that I resonated the most with, it would be the Lemurians.
Lemurians (and Atlanteans) are believed to be the first ever starseeds to come to Earth. Lemurians originate from Lemuria, a large continent that sank under the Indian Ocean eons ago. There aren’t many Lemurians left on Earth due to the sudden downfall of Lemuria due to dark reptilians destroying the continent due to greed, disease, and famine.
https://thebalancedblonde.com/2022/11/09/all-starseed-types-lets-get-into-it/I have been drawn to the ocean almost like a gravitational force my entire life and I have always been deeply — see what I did there — drawn to Atlantian mythos. I also have had a strong inclination towards technology, symbols and other devices, which may have been thought to be used in ancient Atlantis.
In my opinion, these subtle interests are signs our “blood” — our heritage — that we shouldn’t ignore as they are the residue of our past lives emerging to draw us to our purpose, even if it isn’t some indicator we are from another planet. Maybe we were smiths, or tinkerers, or poets or playwrights and so we are naturally drawn to those areas again and again.
I have had vivid dreams involving oceanic visages and places and people and also dark and haunting dreams involving reptilian people, who are thought to have destroyed Atlantis. I am not an expert on this lore, so don’t make fun of me! I am sharing to entice your own sense of discovery.
I have had another intense dreams of ancient runes, glyphs and other information that well — I shouldn’t have as I have never read or studied those things!
I love the Stargate television series and always joked that it was soft-disclosure to prepare the world for actual stargates to connect planets, realms or dimensions.
That said, I used to find the concept of Starseeds almost unsettling and yet as the years go by, it now feels comforting. Maybe because I just don’t care much about needing labels to define who I am — and so don’t see the harm in being attracted to compelling and inspiring ideas that allow us to stay grounded — much like finding a favorite brand or character that we use to express or inspire ourselves.
Shouldn’t we want to expand the imagination of universe, not box it in? We are all eternal creators finding different ways to create, express and share that expression with each other — not judge it, condemn it, or squirrel it away for no one to see or experience.
Do you find the concept of Starseeds hard to believe?
I don’t blame you. I was the same way. If you simply think it is too outlandish, I suggest you are not a Starseed.
However, if you are drawn to it over and over almost like a compulsion you can’t help despite your (even obstinate — raises hand) skepticism, I suggest you take a second, third, or tenth look. If nothing else, consider it like reading a kind of whacky fiction novel.
That said, in my development of my own philosophy and spirituality, I have directly experienced how knowledge and information is invisible until we reach particular levels of consciousness whereupon it just seems to arrive out of nowhere. That is because we are not a “match” for that knowledge. It does not exist. It is in the nature of frequency, vibration and consciousness — as reality emerges first within ourselves before it can be rendered on the outside. So if we do not hold it within, we can never know it or experience it in our sensory qualia.
So if something shows up in your reality, do not so easily dismiss it. It is deeply connected & meaningful to you. Never push aside your inclinations, or what sparks your interest — it is showing you the way like a compass!
The more I understand and integrate that we live in a dreamlike-spiritual reality without quite the physical borders we believe, the more I am comfortable with the idea that I or others could be Starseeds here to help humans “ascend.” And what is ascension other than the same process of actualization — or becoming a decent human being — that has been going on for the age of man?
I think Starseeds are more than possible because a fundamental belief of my philosophy that I have not talked about is what I call the Infinity Principle.
The Infinity Principle is not that special. It simply is another way of saying that if you can imagine it — it is possible, separated only by your belief and ability to get there. An Earth with Starseeds is possible just as an Earth without them. They are both possible! And perhaps both exist — right now. What sounds more interesting to you? Where do you want to be?
Another way of looking at all of this that I alluded to earlier is that — well, it is fun. And if you object to believing in things just because they are fun, I suggest that you have become too serious about life. Can’t you remember coming up with whole worlds as a kid to play make believe?
Would you rather believe in a boring, dry, by-the-numbers universe where everything has an explanation (which leads to determinism), or live your life full of imagination without needing an exhaustive explanation for everything?
Life is much more engaging when you can allow yourself to slip into a state of childlike wonderment. Breathtaking even. The world needs a lot more of this from a lot more people, because it is full of too much drama, concrete and predictability.
Some of us just know we are just built different in a way that other humans don’t seem to get. Consider that perhaps the reason isn’t that there is something wrong with you, but that you are here to teach others, or have a specific mission? Who knows!
I am going to now tell you about a few stones/crystals that are quite interesting.
I must include a disclaimer here.
As always, you must use your own discernment about whether crystals are just rocks from the Earth, space or another place or dimension, whether they have metaphysical, magical or spiritual properties, or if some of these are just a clever rebranding or fictional ploy to make a buck.
All of these positions are absolutely 100% valid whether you believe in hard science and physicalism, or woo-woo and mysticism. Your heart is your guide here and you cannot lie to it.
Don’t blame me if you go spending hundreds of dollars on rocks that don’t give you super powers, OK?
This is the opinion of the author — I ask you: which position is the most fun for you? That position that adds to the joy of your life you want to live and experience? That is the one you should believe, in my opinion, just like a kid — because that is ultimately how you will become a master of your reality.
If you aren’t prepared to make that leap, then maybe this is a call for you to work on your inner-childlike wonder, rather than continue to resign yourself to a world where you can comfortable explain all the atoms, which leads to laziness and complacency.
And if you resonate like I do with the elevation, ascension and service to mankind, I think it is OK to get whatever help you can get –even if it is just a pretty object that helps focus your attention deficit mind or intentions.
Moldavite (often associated with Pleiadian / Lightworkers)
Moldavite has quite a bit of history around it and cannot be easily dismissed. It is believed to originate from a meteor strike in an area that is now the Czech Republic.
Moldavite is believed to have a “high vibration” that brings deep seated issues to the surface to transmute and heal. It is because of this is thought of a crystal that brings powerful transformation. It is said to causing a feeling of warmth when held.
Because of its origins, it is believed to connect us to universal consciousness and wisdom, thus giving us the insight which triggers and reveals inner daemons to be released or healed.
Photo By Onohej zlatove – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=63534844
Lemurian Quartz / Lemurian Seed Crystals (Lemurian origins)
This is supposedly a special kind of quartz that was discovered in Brazil that were remnants of the lost civilization of Lemuria / Atlantis. It is said to contain distinct lines, striations or markings that represent the age of crystal that differentiates it from normal quartz. The age is thus thought to contain a kind of link to cosmic knowledge that can be utilized in healing and meditation.
The crystal is thought to provide a gateway to higher realms and so usually represents unity, the feminine, and love.
Because of these properties, it may also assist in elevating you spiritually or finding your higher calling.
Or it could be someone just scratches lines into normal quartz crystals. You will have to decide yourself, but they are beautiful regardless
Image taken from https://littlelemuria.com/collections/lemurian-seed-crystals
Cintamani Stone (Sirian origins)
The Cintamani is another stone that is believed to have been brought to Earth in meteor impacts from a planet that exploded in Sirius A. There is a little history here that may be worth exploring with your search-fu.
Like Moldavite, Cintamani is thought to have a “high vibration” and so will cause triggers or conflicts within yourself if you are not a match to it. This prompts awakenings and brings to the surface issues to heal or address.
You should read more about this unique stone here and use your discernment of what you feel is truthful or just a tall tale –>
https://2012portal.blogspot.com/search?q=cintamani
The blogger above believes the Holy Grail to be made from Moldavite and works as a kind of energetic channel for the purposes of awakening specific individuals, not unlike some theories about the pyramids being stargates or conduits.
The Cintamani is thought to be an important stone in aligning “the crystalline grid” that will is assisting in Earth’s ascension. The grid, of course, being the we, ourselves, who, as we raise our “vibration”, our coherence or sense of happiness and joy — form the anchor of the “light” or high vibing / congruent / consciousness that elevates all of mankind.
The Cintamani stone image is taken from http://www.cintamani.space/Cintamani.html
Whether you believe in magic, mysticism, science or convention, creating a better world should be on everyone’s agenda. So I say — use whatever tools makes you a better person for yourself and others.
That will conclude this article.
No mind shattering revelations or eldritch horrors today, I am afraid. But I hope you may find it useful.
Until next time — take care.